The mark on my scar
by itwasinevitable
Summary: Continued: Two part story in 'what if' about 'What if Piper and Alex both ended up buying liquor in Queens during Piper's furlough. There will be a lot more chapters! It will contain: smut and domestic Vauseman eventually! After about five chapters there's a time gap from two years and I will be writing flash backs into the story.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

 **Hi everyone! Due to the reactions to the two chapters I already posted in my story 'What if' I decided to make this one into another story. I have a lot of ideas for this one and I am confident that there will be a lot more chapters coming soon! Anyone who is new to this story: Welcome, and to anyone who has ever read it already I advise you to read it again before you start chapter three (A NEW ONE). It will prevent confusion.**

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 **It all started with; what if Piper and Alex both ended up buying liquor in Queens during Piper's furlough?**

Piper had a tough time wrapping her mind around the things that already happened during her first hours of furlough. She was collected at Litchfield by her brother Cal, had seen Larry, drank a decent coffee, went to her grandmother's funeral and almost had sex with Larry in the bathroom.

It was safe to say that she didn't see that last one coming and didn't exactly had that one in mind for her time out of prison. After, more like during, a weak attempt of sex with Larry he had told her that he slept with someone else. After she asked he had told her that it was someone she knew.

After she didn't even try to think about who it could or would be. She knew that Larry and her were over, but that didn't mean that the prick could stick his dick into someone else right away. She knew that thought was selfish though. She herself didn't even last a month before she jumped Alex's bones in prison. Now she couldn't anymore. Alex had fucked her over. Again. Of course she had fucked over Alex many times but that didn't mean that this time was different..

They hadn't seen each other in eight years before prison.. Weren't you supposed to become wiser with age? Because that sure as hell wasn't the case for her and Alex. It didn't matter how much older they had become. Fireworks still went off when they were in each other's presence. Sometimes it was good, oh so good.

Piper never had anyone better than Alex, ever. She knew that there would be never anyone better than Alex. Before prison she'd like to think that she was at peace with that fact. Now, not so much. She loved but mostly hated the fact that after all these years Alex still had this hold over her. That she was still in control of not only her body but also her heart.

Other times.. Times like these were the bad kind of fireworks. The fireworks that went off too early and that was shot in all the wrong directions.

When Alex was released from prison the first few days back in Litchfield Piper tried to deny that Alex being gone affected her in any way. Right away Nicky had known that this was all just a façade which Piper was sporting. She knew from the start that by the reuniting of those two that they never were again able to face that much time away from each other ever again.

That possibility was ruined when Piper had her first taste of Alex again after eight years of going without it. After eight years of imagining and panicking when she realized that she couldn't quite get a hold of how Alex tasted or how she smelled. She hated those times before prison when she would wake up at night all sweaty next to Larry because once again she had a very vivid dream of her bad ass ex-girlfriend. She hated the fact that after such a dream it was almost impossible every time to get back to her own life with her boyfriend. She hated the fact that every time, every dream it became more and more impossible for Piper to ignore Alex. She might not have been there in real life.. but she sure as hell was still very much in Piper's life.

After the encounter with Larry in the bathroom and Cal and Neri's sort of wedding Piper decided to skip the rest altogether and just make the most of the rest of her furlough. Even if it meant being alone, not being around her friends and family. She didn't know where the hell her best friend was during all of this but right now she just couldn't care less.

She figured she could just as well visit Red's store because she didn't know where else she would be welcome or at home at this point. She was walking around in the dark looking for the space with the name that Red had scrabbled on a piece of paper. Just like everything else in her life right now also this place was a goner.

For quite some time Piper just stared at the empty store which was sealed with gates and the 'for lease' sign was displayed at the front. She just wanted to forget everything right now. To forget everything that had happened since that Alex was released if she was really being honest with herself. So she walked to the nearest liquor store she could find.

It turned out that prison was something that Piper could survive.. but she'd rather survive it with the love of her life than without it. And the realization of this seemed to sink in just now. She was going to have to survive prison without Alex. And after prison? She didn't have a place to go. She couldn't go back to Larry and Alex had fucked her over.. _Oh what a life._

When she turned around with a bottle of booze in her hand she thought she was really losing it because no one other than Alex fucking Vause was standing in the store. _Or wasn't she?_ She must be really losing it because that was impossible! What would Alex be doing in fucking Queens? After she stared about a minute into the green eyes of her ex-girlfriend Piper made a run for the door.. _Because really this couldn't be happening and she couldn't believe that her love for the woman went as far as seeing her in real life even if she wasn't there. She didn't drink enough to have these kind of hallucinations right?_

Just as she was about to open the door and leave the liquor store someone grabbed her by her wrist. The person made her turn around and now she really stood face to face with Alex. At least.. she thought she was. She still wasn't sure if the woman was real or if this was just her fucked up mind playing tricks on her. But that _thing_ that was standing in front of her spoke and the noise that came from those beautiful lips was indeed the low and husky voice of her ex-girlfriend, her Alex. And that is exactly what she first said to the woman. "My Alex."

At that Alex smiled genuinely. The kind of smile that Piper missed the most about her. Not that infuriating but incredibly sexy smirk that was displayed on her face most of the time. It was true. If anyone had a right to sport such a smirk on her face it would be Alex, but still.. when she saw Alex smile like this she knew that she saw the real her. Piper's Alex. _Because Alex never really was herself except for when she was around either her mom or Piper, and that would never change._

Piper shook her head to get rid of all of those thoughts and tried to focus on what was happening. "So, you want the long version or the short version," Alex asked her ex-girlfriend. Piper's anger flared at that question all of the sudden. "I want the short version you have one minute."

"Oh, so it's like that huh?" Alex asked Piper. "Fuck yes Alex, it's like that. I'm on fucking furlough because my grandmother died. Up until now I didn't get to enjoy the little amount of free time that I have.. so you have exactly one minute, starting now."

"Jesus Pipes, Celeste died? I'm so sorry." She was cut off by Piper at that. "Yeah, yeah. You're sorry, what else is new?" Alex just rolled her eyes because she was pretty sure that at this moment she still thought that Piper had to be the one that was sorry for picking Larry.. not the other way around.

"Look Piper… I was facing more time than you. My lawyer told me that my testimony would put Kubra away for sure… and that I could walk that same day."

"Congratulations. Your lawyer is a better lawyer than Larry's dad."

"No he isn't. He was wrong. Kubra walked."

"What?"

"There was a mistrial. Some dumb fuck mishandled the evidence. He's out."

Piper was trying to wrap her head around this new information as fast as she could. She wanted to ask what Alex was doing in Queens then. She wanted to ask her if she was safe. She wanted to worry about her. In fact, she did worry about her. But she also really wanted to ask this.

"So I'm the only one who went to prison?"

"I tell you that Kubra is free after I testify against him, and that's all you have to say?"

"Well, I mean, they're protecting you, right?"

Alex chuckled. "Yeah… they're protecting me. There's around-the-clock surveillance."

Piper looked relieved at Alex's words. "And by that, I mean I see my probation officer every week for about twenty minutes."

"Oh my God, Alex." Without thinking Piper grabbed the hands of her former girlfriend and at their hands touching she immediately felt the familiar spark between them as well. But still this was not a time to focus on the fact that she still felt like this being around Alex.

Suddenly all the worry that she earlier felt towards Alex didn't feel misplaced at all. The brunette was not exactly on the run for Kubra but she wasn't safe either.

"Alex are you serious? Alex, you shouldn't be in New York. You should be in fucking Nevada or… or Argentina or something."

"That's fine. Thomas Pynchon hid in New York for years, and Queens isn't that bad. No one comes to visit, but it has pretty good Greek food. Besides, if I wouldn't be in Queens.. I wouldn't have run into you just now." Alex quirked up her eyebrow the way only she could.

It was clear to Piper that Alex was trying to talk over Piper's worry. Normally she wouldn't have any of that but Alex's close proximity together with that quirked eyebrow was definitely working for Piper. It was definitely doing something to her.

Piper was still holding Alex's hands and at this point Alex had started to stroke her thumb over Piper's hand. Just like she always did those many years ago and like she had started doing again during the short time they were together again inside Litchfield. It was a feeling in which Piper could get lost easily. This time was no different. She had about eleven hours left for her furlough and meeting Alex here wasn't something she had foreseen, but right now? Alex felt like a Godsend.

She knew they had a million things to talk about but she also knew spending the rest of her furlough with Alex would be a lot better than she had planned for herself until now. Flashes of Alex and Piper having sex on every surface in Alex's former loft spun through her head. A small smirk appeared onto her lips and in return Alex sported a smirk for herself. At the look on Piper's face she knew the blonde was thinking about them having sex.

She mastered reading Piper's every look years ago and in prison she found out that she was still very capable of reading Piper. Although she knew all of this she still decided to ask Piper about it. "What are you thinking right now?" She looked at Piper seductively and before the blonde woman could answer she spoke again: "Because I am thinking that you are thinking about me… naked… with you… naked… on top of each other in a place where we don't have to be quiet and we don't have to worry about any guards walking in on us." She smiled widely at Piper and hoped that she didn't overstep any boundaries by bringing up her sexual urges around the woman which she so clearly hurt by leaving her in prison while she was out. They weren't even talking for a good ten minutes before the sexual tension between the two women was obviously flowing freely.

Alex could see the hurt over Piper's face all too clearly though, but she could also see that the blonde was desperately searching for things that made her feel free for as long as she was. She knew she could provide that for her. She knew that she owed Piper that much. And who was she kidding? She was desperately in need for Piper herself.. she always was from the moment she met her in that bar all those years ago.

She decided to take her chances on this one. Staying in this store was no option and leaving Piper right now was definitely not an option for her. "Pipes.." She decided to use the nickname for the woman that she still loved with all of her body, mind and soul. "I know we have a ton of things to talk about still. I also know that you're mad that I'm out and you're still at Litchfield.. but still; you're on furlough and all I want to do is spend you're free time together. Just you and me. I care about you and even if you don't want to believe it.. I love you, so fucking much. Babe.. please come home with me and we'll figure all the rest out later… PLEASE."

Alex was begging at this point and she couldn't care less. The worst of it all was that she absolutely didn't know if there was even the need for her to beg Piper to come home with her. She knew for sure that she definitely saw lust in Piper's eyes but it was still Piper's furlough, the little free time that she had left and she had to choose that she would want to spend that little time with Alex.

What Alex didn't know was that for Piper this was a no-brainer. Yeah she was still pissed at Alex for fucking her over again. Yeah she still didn't know whether she could trust the woman that was standing before her.. but still. On the stand she vowed that Alex was the love of her life. For the first time in a long time, maybe ever.. she admitted that not only to other people but to herself also.

Alex couldn't have said anything that made Piper want to be with her any less really. Alex was still the love of her life and she could think of a million reasons other than that to also spend her left over free time with her ex-lover.

She was sure that Alex would be capable to fuck her brains out. She was sure that with Alex she would laugh until they couldn't stop. If they would argue it would be so good and so hard that eventually they would always end up having make up sex. And there wasn't a thing in the world that was better than the makeup sex between Alex and Piper.. well except maybe for their love sex. Which of course they wouldn't admit but they simply loved each other so much more than they would ever care to admit.. but then again maybe this time was different. Maybe this time Alex would speak her mind and Piper wouldn't be afraid to tell the older woman just how much she was in love with her all those years ago and how that love never, not even in the slightest bit, went away.

"Let's get out of here, Alex." Alex just stared at Piper as if she didn't believe whatever she just heard. "Come on Alex.. Lead the way, will you?" Piper held her hand out for Alex once again and she waited patiently for the older woman to be ready to grab it.

Alex's apartment in Queens was indeed nothing like her loft all those years ago. She didn't own any luxurious furniture and her four poster bed was replaced by a small double bed. But still, to Piper this was heaven and being with Alex only made it better. The brunette woman wanted to talk about Piper before they would even start to get completely comfortable around each other again. But Piper had other things on her mind. By now she had about ten hours left before she would have to go back to Litchfield and she wasn't planning on spending those hours talking which would end up in fighting with Alex.

Piper walked towards the bed and let her body fall onto it face first. "Ugh, this surely feels like freedom to me. I can't believe I have to go back tomorrow." She kept laying in the bed and tried not to let those thoughts get the best of her. But seeing the situation of course that was pretty difficult. "Pipes, do you want something to eat or drink?" Alex just kept pacing around her own apartment, not really sure what to do next. "Nope, I'm good. I had enough to drink earlier and I'm not hungry for food. Will you just come here, Alex."

The blonde woman always knew the most fun ways to turn Alex on. _Not hungry for food.. really? Like Alex didn't understand what that really meant._ "Not hungry for food huh?" She asked her former girlfriend.

"Nope, just you." After all these years it's still you, Alex." She hoped that the older woman understood the real and heavy meaning behind those words. She hoped that this time Alex understood that this was Piper being completely honest. Not afraid of what losing Larry might do to her former life. Not afraid of what her family might think of her when she would choose Alex for real this time.

There was still a lot of explaining to do from both sides. She was sure that they both knew that. But these upcoming hours they wouldn't spend their time explaining themselves. They would spend that time getting to know each other once again on an intimate level which they both missed so much over the years. You could say that they already started in prison but that didn't even scratch the surface of which they both knew their love was capable of.

Alex lay down beside Piper on her back and stared at the ceiling. Of course she wanted to be with Piper just as much as Piper wanted to be with Alex at this moment, maybe even more. But that didn't mean that she would be the first one to reach for Piper. It was Piper's furlough so in her mind Piper would be completely in charge of what they would be doing with their time together. So she waited patiently to see what Piper would do next.

Piper was still with her face first laying on the pillow. She wasn't in any hurry to move her body off of it because the pillow smelled exactly like Alex and she just wanted to remember every detail of that smell before she would go back to Litchfield tomorrow. "It smells like you." She finally lifted her head a little to look at the woman who was laying besides her.

"I'm sure it does Piper. I've been sleeping on it you know," she chuckled because she really didn't know how to act around Piper anymore. Piper went to sit on her knees and moved her body until she was hovering over Alex completely. She looked the older woman deeply into her green eyes before she laid her body on top of hers. She brought her face into the crook of Alex's neck and found that the smell that was uniquely Alex was even stronger here. "You smell good."

"You do too Pipes." Alex was still being careful with Piper. She wrapped her arms around the younger woman's waist. "I missed you," Piper said to her. "I missed you too Pipes,' Alex answered. Piper immediately knew that Alex didn't really understand what Piper fully meant to say with that. "No Alex, I mean that I have missed you so fucking much for so many years, and I'm so fucking tired of missing you. I don't want to do it anymore. I can't do it anymore. I know we still have a lot of shit between us that we need to attend to.. but I want you Alex, all of you. For real this time. No drugs, no WASPy family and no fiance in the way this time." She lifted herself to the level in which her face was hovering just above Alex's. "I really, really love you Alex. So what do you say?"

"I love you too, Piper Elizabeth Chapman. And yes.. I will be whatever you want me to be. Your lover, your girlfriend. One day I'll even be your fucking wife and even a mother to our children at some point. If that is still what you want. But I will never again be your mistress or secret or anything like that. From now on; you are mine for real," she looked at the younger woman that was still hovering above her. "And I am completely yours, okay? Everything that I am was completely yours from the day that I met you, and that has not changed."

"You got yourself a deal babe." She flipped them over so Alex was on top. "Now make me yours again." Piper brought her face closer to Alex's and she waited for the older woman to close the gap between them. It would be their first kiss since Piper told Alex that she chose Larry. After all that's happened after that it seemed like a lifetime ago. All Piper knew was that she would put her everything in this kiss. Tonight she would show Alex Vause just how much she meant to her.

She heard herself repeat the words she once said to Larry just before she surrendered herself. "Please just fuck me, Alex." This seemed to take Alex aback. For the past month she had dreamed those words almost unstoppable but when she heard them they didn't sound quite right to her. Fucking is what they had mostly done in prison. "We'll fuck later Pipes.." Piper seemed surprised by Alex's words. Alex smiled genuinely into Piper's neck and spoke again. "Right now I'm going to make love to you."

Piper could've sworn that that was the sappiest thing she ever heard Alex Vause say to her. When they were together all those years ago Piper knew that Alex loved her. She might have not known exactly how much and back then Alex wasn't an expert in telling Piper how much she meant to her, but still.. she knew that she meant a great deal to her. She was eager to find out what it would be like to completely loved again by Alex after all those years.

And indeed. When she was finally naked Alex worshiped her body like nobody else could. Alex worshiped her body like she never did all those years ago. Alex worshiped her body like she hadn't really made love to Piper in eight years. She was soft, gentle, not rushed and completely overwhelmed herself by what Piper's whimpers, noises and begs did to her own body. After Piper nobody could get Alex's body to react like it did to Piper.

Alex tingled Piper's skin with a brush of her fingertips until the blonde woman was squirming beneath her. When Piper told the older woman that she couldn't handle the anticipation any longer Alex peppered her whole body in kisses and didn't leave an inch of her body untouched by her mouth and tongue. When Piper was again squirming underneath her she knew that she really should take this up a notch. She still hadn't touched the parts of Piper where she knew the blonde woman needed her the most. And quite frankly she couldn't keep herself much longer from touching those parts.

She wanted to taste the younger woman but then again she couldn't tear herself away from those blue eyes and those gorgeous light pink lips. So she decided to bring Piper to an orgasm with her fingers first. Clearly Piper was thankful for it because she kept kissing Alex's lips with more force when Alex's thin, long fingers came in contact with the silky heat between her legs. For a few minutes Alex just kept sliding her middle finger through the moisture and it was nearly driving Piper insane. She needed more, so much more but knew that if she begged for it Alex would only postpone the contact she needed the most.

You could say that teasing Piper wasn't exactly the way to make love but for Alex it was. She knew she could bring the younger woman to a much higher level when she would just tease her the right way. She wasn't going to torture her tonight though. In the early days of their relationship she liked to figure out just how much she could tease Piper before she really couldn't take it anymore. Before she would almost cry in pain for the fact that she needed to cum so badly.

So when again she felt Piper squirming underneath her and her whimpers became more audible she slowly entered Piper with her middle finger. She figured that Piper deserved some release from the teasing that she was providing her with. Up until this point they were still just lazily kissing in sync before Alex pushed her tongue into the younger girl's mouth and at the same time she entered her with two fingers this time.

Piper growled in response. Alex closed her mouth and Piper could feel the older woman smirking against her lips. "I thought you were going to make love to me and not fuck me Vause? I personally think that implies a little less teasing and a lot more from your mouth babe."

Alex again smiled against Piper's lips and pecked them before her mouth moved further south. On her journey south she placed open mouth kisses all over Piper's abs. She always loved the way they flexed when her back arched from the bed whenever they would fuck or make love. She kept moving lower in record speed all of the sudden and in no time she was hovering above Piper's pussy waiting just one single moment to say something before she dove in. "As you wish, princess."


	2. Chapter 2

**Previously**

 _Alex again smiled against Piper's lips and pecked them before her mouth moved further south. On her journey south she placed open mouth kisses all over Piper's abs. She always loved the way they flexed when her back arched from the bed whenever they would fuck or make love. She kept moving lower in record speed all of the sudden and in no time she was hovering above Piper's pussy waiting just one single moment to say something before she dove in. "As you wish, princess."_

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 **Chapter two.**

Alex couldn't help but moan out loud after her first taste of Piper again. She sucked Piper's outer lips into her mouth before she used her tongue to spread her lips further to lick a straight line from her tight hole to her clit. Piper was already wet beyond believe so Alex could really relish in how her former girlfriend tasted. "Fuck babe, I missed this." Piper was also moaning. "Ugh, yes me too Alex but just keep going okay?!" They were supposed to be making love but their deprive from fucking for this long made them both quite desperate for a simple but good fuck first. They still have time to worship each other's bodies more later.

"Yeah, yeah. Give a girl a little time to enjoy you after not tasting you for so long." To make her point Piper moved her hand to the back of Alex's head and pushed her face into her pussy more. They were rough. There wasn't anything romantic about this fuck between the two women. They were both desperate for each other and that was clear from the way that they were both taking what they needed.

Alex took from Piper what she wanted by pushing her tongue into the tight hole of Piper's pussy to taste her essence direct from the source and Piper was taking from Alex what she needed by moving her hips so that she was practically trying to fuck herself on Alex's tongue. Piper was always so eager for Alex and the older woman was glad to realize that that didn't change over all those years.

Alex tried to chuckle even though from this angle that was pretty hard and even though Piper didn't see Alex's face she knew that if she looked at her the brunette would still try to sport a smirk now. During the moans Piper tried to get out a few words. "You're always so full of yourself Alex."

That didn't give her the reaction which she hoped for. Alex stopped fucking Piper immediately. She moved her body so she was hovering over the blonde and sported a perfect smirk right into Piper's face. "Why did you fucking stop Alex, God no just don't stop!"

"You said something about being so full of myself woman. Do you really think I'm going to keep fucking you if you think that little of me? If I'm so full of myself why do you need me anyway huh?"

It was like no time had passed between the two. When they were together the first time they had a lot of types of fucking. There was the angry fuck which usually took place when Alex was flirting with mules and Piper got jealous. There was the sad fuck when Alex took the flirting too far for real and Piper broke down completely. A lot of the time they made love though. Even though Alex's exterior was always pretty bad ass and she acted like she didn't give a fuck, Piper always knew better. Alex most of the time was better in Piper's presence except for at the end.

This type of fuck wasn't any of those above. This type of fuck was the one that they both enjoyed the most. They used to fuck like this when their relationship was booming they didn't have a care in the world. They enjoyed this type of banter during those fucks and weren't afraid to hurt each other with words or be rough with actions because they knew that in the end they loved each other. They were in love and nobody could do a damn thing about it.

Now though they still had a lot of things to figure out together but besides that it was like that old feeling never went away. They just had to find it deep within themselves and allow it to move back to the surface. And apparently they allowed it.

"You really want me to beg here don't you? Well get over yourself already because I'm not going to do that Alex. Do not pretend that I'm the only one enjoying this."

Alex was still hovering over the blonde and her lips were practically touching Piper's lips. Even when they talked during sex they liked to still be able to touch each other like this. The closeness of it all gave them both comfort, especially because after tonight they didn't know when they would see each other again. But still they chose not to talk about that until it was absolutely necessary and that wouldn't be for another few hours and another few rounds of sex or making love.

The banter was fun and all but Piper was right. Alex really didn't want to deny herself to taste Piper any longer so she pecked her lips shortly to move on to her other lips a little more down to the south. "You're right babe." She moved downwards Piper's body without her lips never fully losing touch with the younger girl's skin. Earlier she made a note to herself that this night she would do everything in her power to remember every inch of Piper's soft skin. As if she couldn't already dream her from head to toe. Even in their years apart when Alex at her worst sometimes tried to forget Piper altogether she couldn't. The most vivid memories came in flashes at the least expected moments but were so very detailed that they drove Alex nearly insane sometimes.

In those moments she could see Piper so very vividly but just like Piper when she tried to remember how she smelled or how that her skin tasted she could almost reach it but never fully. It frustrated her to no end and even though they weren't on the best terms at first in prison when she caught her first glimpse of Piper it was like her whole body came to life again for the first time in eight years. When Piper walked by the first time her nose thrills filled with the unique smell of Piper that she missed so much over the years. Right after she retreated to her own bunk because she couldn't stop the tears that were forming in her eyes.

Back then they hadn't even spoken. In fact as she remembers it just now she realizes that Piper hadn't even known she was in Litchfield too. It was before she confronted Piper outside. It was before Piper yelled at her and after it got a lot worse before it got better and then it got worse again.

During her trip down memory lane Alex was moving her lips over Piper's skin and alternated between kisses and spoken words against her skin. "You" she kissed Piper's collarbone "are" she kissed her just above her right breast "totally" she flicked her nipple with her tongue "right about that Pipes." She brought her mouth back towards Piper's nipple immediately before the younger woman that was writhing beneath her would give her a snarky comment again. She straddled the blonde and brought her other hand up to play with Piper's left nipple. She circled around it with her fingertips by using feather light touches and just when Piper was about to curse at Alex to get her to work a little faster Alex wrapped her lips around her left rock hard bud which she was torturing a few seconds ago.

Piper was the most impatient person she had ever met. And not just in a sexual way but that impatient Piper was definitely her favorite. Piper could never get enough but also could never get it fast enough. While Alex liked to endlessly tease women she brought this thing to a whole new level with Piper. She knew Piper would get off that much better and harder when she would tease her but Piper was about the most annoying person on earth to be teasing. Within a few touches and teases she was complete putty in Alex's hands and was writhing and wining underneath her. But the one thing Piper hated to do was to beg Alex and exactly that was what Alex wanted to hear before she would give in to Piper completely.

It was the weirdest combination. How could somebody be so impatient but so incompetent to beg for it? Of course Alex almost always finds a way to get the words 'please' and 'Alex' out of Piper in the same sentence. She was just that good. She knew it. Piper wasn't totally wrong when she called Alex full of herself. But in their most honest moments even Piper would sometimes admit that Alex had indeed every right to be so full of herself when it came to sex.

Alex would almost never admit this to Piper but the blonde was pretty good to say the least in the sack. She could get reactions out of Alex that no woman ever could before and after Piper, fucking someone never felt the same to Alex. It was never enough. Nobody was ever enough. But then again nobody was ever Piper. Call it sad or call it sappy but it was as true as it still is today. Nobody would be ever enough for Alex Vause since the moment she met Piper Elizabeth Chapman in that bar. And after tonight Alex swore to herself that nobody ever got to try to be better than Piper Chapman. This was it. She was it and after tonight she would let nothing or nobody get in the way of that.

She was moving her lips lower and lower over Piper's body and the blonde couldn't stop moving underneath her. "Piper could you just lay fucking still so that I can fuck you properly. Like you asked me to by the way." Even though she was straddling the younger woman underneath her Piper still managed to wiggle her legs a little and move her upper body. To get Piper to stop moving she brought her mouth up to kiss Piper again and at the same time she grabbed her wrists and held them captive above her head.

"But Alex.. How are you going to fuck me properly when you're holding my arms with one hand and you're straddling me so you're definitely not capable to put your mouth to good use now are you?" Piper was talking in that annoying tone of hers like she was some kind of shy dumb blonde.

"God, you're such a brat sometimes do you know that?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Let's get started then shall we?"

"Yes."

"Yes what Piper?"

"Yes, let's get started Alex."

"You know that is not what I want to hear from you right now Piper."

Even though Alex promised to make love to Piper and it kind of started as such she sure as hell was going to finish this one as a fuck. She brought her free hand between her own legs and moved a little backwards so she could reach Piper's wetness this way.

"What did you say about me not being able to fuck you like this?"

"No.. no, that's not what I said Alex. I said that you were not capable of putting your mouth to good use this way." Piper couldn't even finish that sentence properly before Alex entered her again with two fingers at the same time. She brought her mouth towards Piper's lips and pushed her tongue inside Piper's mouth without waiting for her to grant permission of any kind. She knew Piper wanted it though. She always did.

Alex could literally feel the younger woman dripping all over her hand. She stopped the kiss to be able to give Piper an answer to her earlier statement. "Is this what you call not putting my mouth to good use, babe? Because if it is please tell me and I will stop immediately. A little like I did earlier but then I won't start again right after Piper. We can just you know.. Go to sleep, call it a night. Spoon a little maybe?" Alex was smirking because she knew that she had Piper where she wanted her now.

"God no, Alex please just fuck me."

"YES! See, I knew I could make you beg. You say you've changed so much over the past years but you really didn't. You are still my Pipes. My impatient but adorable and fucking sexy as hell Pipes."

"Fine. You win. I begged. Now can we please get back to the fucking again? I still haven't had an orgasm yet Alex, and I've been in your apartment for like an hour. You say that you haven't changed over the years but apparently you did. Before prison you would have already fucked me senseless for like way too many times by now."

"Except that way to many times doesn't really exits with you Piper. You always wanted more." Alex smiled warmly at Piper and moved her lips back to the younger woman's mouth. "Yeah, with you I always did," she heard Piper mumble softly before she closed the gap between them once again and at the same time she started moving the two fingers that were already inside Piper. This time she didn't give Piper a chance to say anything anymore to make sure that Piper had an orgasm within the next minute. She knew she could so she did. She knew Piper wanted it so she would obey.

Alex Vause wouldn't obey anything or anyone. That is what everyone else would say about the bad ass former drug importer.. but if you asked Piper Chapman that same question she would answer it differently. Because Alex Vause in the end would always obey Piper. She would do anything for Piper. Sure sometimes she would say shitty things before she did it or she would protest in any way she could but in the end she would always give in to the love of her life.

Piper realized that in their relationship Alex sure as hell wasn't the only one who made mistakes. She was WASPy and even though she wouldn't like to admit it she knew she acted like a true princess from time to time. She knew that Alex would do anything for her and she made good use of that sometimes. And the one time that Alex asked her to do something in return. Not carrying the drug money because obviously the brunette was in the wrong with that one.. but the staying with her when her mother died even if it would be just as a friend.. she should have done that. Even though Piper was leaving because she already gave Alex everything she had back then, and she just didn't get back what she put in.. not even by half. At least not at the end.. She should have obeyed Alex back then. And she would regret that she didn't for the rest of her life.

She would regret it even though right now she was laying underneath that same woman. She would regret it even though they promised each other that this time it would be different. She would regret it forever because that decision resulted in eight years without this woman. Eight years without the love of her life. Eight years that they would never get back.

Some people might say that breaking up back then was for the best. That if it wasn't for that day they wouldn't have made it anyway because they were too young, stupid, foolishly and recklessly in love. So if it wasn't for that day it would have been another time where they would've just stopped being Alex's Piper and Piper's Alex.

Still Piper couldn't let go. She wasn't sure if she was ever able to let go. But maybe that would exactly be the reason that their relationship would last this time. She still had to go back to prison in the morning and that meant being without Alex for the following months to come. Sure it would be torture and painful and sad all in one but if she got out and Alex would be waiting for her to start their new lives together. Wouldn't all of it been worth it?

Piper felt Alex's fingers move further inside of her and when Alex pulled them out almost all the way, before Piper could whine she pushed them back in her again. Alex moved her lips from Piper's mouth to her right nipple and she sucked the hardened peak into her mouth. Alex flicked her tongue over and around Piper's nipple and moaned at the satisfaction that it was giving her to be able to do this to the younger woman again without having to be careful about being busted.

Piper's breasts weren't big. Not even in the slightest. Not like her own. But to Alex, Piper's tits were perfect. They were small, perky and her nipples always stood up proud for their admirer which in this case was Alex. Which to all honesty has always been Alex.

Alex wrapped her lips around Piper's nipple once more and before she sucked on it she let her tongue slide against the underside of the hardened nub. "Ugh fuck Alex. Like that - ugh - Alex." Alex smirked. She knew Piper liked it that way. Even if she tried to forget she couldn't. She remembered all the ways Piper liked to be fucked. She remembered all the ways that Piper liked to fuck her. She specifically remembers that Piper gets beyond turned on when she hovers her pussy above her face. The blonde was always so greedy when Alex exposed herself to her that way. It wasn't that often because even though technically Alex was on top this way she always felt way too vulnerable for her liking.

After she makes Piper cum she definitely plans on offering herself to Piper that way. She knows it would make the blonde beyond happy and that's all she cares about right now. Besides, prison food isn't all that, and because of it Piper will probably literally cum from Alex's taste in her mouth. Not that in that department Alex was as confident as she was normally when it came to sex. When Alex fucked a girl it didn't mean that they would get the chance to fuck her also. And even if they did they certainly wouldn't be doing it with their mouth and tongue. That all changed when she met Piper. Nobody could make her cum like Piper did with her mouth. Piper loved eating Alex out. She always did but particularly fucking her in that way grew on her when Alex told her something in the beginning of their relationship all those years ago.

It pleased Piper very much to know that not all the women that Alex has slept with had the privilege of really tasting her. Alex was cocky and sometimes arrogant when it came to sex. Mostly before she met Piper. She made no secret of her love for sex and she was always honest when Piper would ask her questions about it. So Piper knew that Alex had fucked a lot of girls before she met her. So it took Piper by surprise when Alex told her that not all of those girls fucked Alex too. And the women that did usually used their fingers because Alex wouldn't let them fuck her otherwise. The women that did taste Alex.. she could count those women on one hand.

She knew she was Piper's first.. at least in the 'sex with women' department and she wanted the younger woman to feel special like she did when she became Piper's first. This was the only way Alex knew how to offer something like that to her in return. In Alex's mind it didn't compare though but Piper thought otherwise. She was beyond happy when Alex enlightened her about this little detail. It made her greedy and horny and very determined in pleasing Alex as often as she could with her mouth. Piper was always a girl that went for straight A's and in this department she was no different. If Alex could count those women on one hand she was definitely going to be the best and most memorable. She would do everything to make that happen. What she didn't know back then was that she didn't even have to make an effort to make that happen. She was already the best before she even got the chance to taste Alex.

She made Alex feel something for her. Alex already felt something for her and Piper hadn't even gotten the chance to fuck her properly. She felt something from the moment she saw Piper in that bar. She felt something more when she got to talk to the younger woman and because of that she made the decision to bring Piper home and cheat on Sylvie. Even though Alex was by no means used to be bound to someone.. she wasn't keen to cheat on Sylvie also. But with Piper it was like she had no choice. She had to. She couldn't keep herself from doing it even if she tried her hardest. She was drawn to Piper from the moment their eyes met and nobody or no one could do a damn thing about it.

She was completely lost by the time she first fucked Piper. She wasn't a fan of fucking straight girls but with Piper it was a plus. It turned her on even more. She was very satisfied by the fact that she would be the first woman to be inside of Piper, with either her fingers or her tongue. It made her horny and possessive and it came with a bunch of other feelings that she had never felt before. Later she figured out that those feelings were admiration and jealousy. From that moment on she didn't want to think about Piper being with somebody else and certainly not if that somebody else would be a guy.

All the while Alex was still moving her long slender fingers into the girl beneath her and her mouth was still latched to Piper's nipple. When she moved down her other free hand to give Piper's clit the attention it truly needed, she knew Piper was close. To increase the stimulation even more she moved her mouth towards her left nipple that had been neglected pretty much until now. She knew it would be extra sensitive this way and that it would probably bring Piper over the edge immediately. She was ready for the blonde to cum because she was ready to expose her own dripping cunt in full view for Piper by placing both of her knees at one side of Piper's face. When her tongue slid around Piper's left nipple she felt the blonde's walls tighten around her fingers but still Piper managed to keep herself from cumming. She knew the blonde was doing this because she never wanted this feeling to end and if Alex wasn't as selfish and desperate for her own release right now she would've done anything in her power to postpone Piper's release some more. She knew though that if she would enlighten Piper about the reason why she wanted her to cum at this very moment, Piper would most definitely cum for her then.

She pressed a little harder onto Piper's clit while she moved her mouth to her earlobe. She sucked it into her mouth before she let it go with a pop to whisper in her ear in the most dirty, low and husky tone she could manage. "Cum for me Piper so that you can suck my dripping cunt into your mouth baby. I know you want to taste me. And I want you to so bad. Please babe cum so that I can cum in your mouth babe." And as expected.. that was all it took. Piper let out a loud groan and Alex felt and saw Piper's body shaking due to her orgasm. Alex heard the fucks and Alex's coming from those beautiful pink lips she loved so much.

While Piper was coming down from her high Alex was very anxious to make good on the promise she just made Piper. She wanted to move her body immediately so that Piper could use her mouth to drink up the wetness she already spilled for Piper while fucking her. And it was quite an amount. But still her desire to make sure that Piper was okay and to make sure that she knew how much she meant to her was more important. Piper was on furlough, in her crappy apartment in Queens and she knew it had to be hard for the blonde to overcome her anger towards Alex. To just be here and love her while she could. To not just scream at her in anger and talk about what the future had to hold for them.

She would let the rest of the night go the way Piper wanted. If she wanted to talk, they'd talk. If she wanted to fuck, they'd fuck. And if she just wanted to sleep and cuddle. She was more than happy to oblige. Even if that meant not getting off herself. It would be worth it. She moved her finger under the younger girl's chin and forced her to open her blue eyes and look up at her. "I love you Piper. I want you to know that whatever happens… I love you."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **So this was the second chapter! On to a new one! More coming soon. Please leave your review and I'm honestly quite curious what you all think about the story up until now. I'm also very open to suggestions or anything like that!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Previously**

 _She would let the rest of the night go the way Piper wanted. If she wanted to talk, they'd talk. If she wanted to fuck, they'd fuck. And if she just wanted to sleep and cuddle. She was more than happy to oblige. Even if that meant not getting off herself. It would be worth it. She moved her finger under the younger girl's chin and forced her to open her blue eyes and look up at her. "I love you Piper. I want you to know that whatever happens… I love you."_

* * *

 **Chapter three.**

After a few more rounds of fucking and making love both women couldn't help but fall asleep besides each other. They exhausted each other in the best ways and even though Piper wanted to stay awake the whole night to take all of Alex in she just had to rest her eyes for a little. Alex was also struggling with the heaviness of her eyes that were bound to fall asleep any minute now, but she wanted to stay awake for Piper. She wanted to stay awake as long as Piper wanted her to. So she waited until the blonde closed her eyes and after she made sure that the blonde definitely had fallen asleep she allowed her own eyes to rest themselves also.

Before she did though she checked the alarm clock next to Piper and made sure that she set it so that they would wake up early enough to have some time to talk and explore each other a little more before they couldn't for a long while.. she didn't want to think about that fact at all but the fact was that she and Piper still didn't talk about what was going to happen next. They both admitted their endless love for each other and told each other that they didn't want to be apart any longer. But the being apart was a given, because Piper had to go back to Litchfield and right now there was nothing Alex could do about it.

She would still give anything to go back to that day in Chicago. If they trusted each other enough back then.. if they had worked through their shit before then, maybe they would be out together now or even inside Litchfield together was a better option for Alex right now than her being on the outside of prison without Piper by her side.

Still she needed to set that alarm and force Piper to talk about them. She knew the blonde was avoiding it the whole night. And she didn't want to spoil the girl's furlough but they had to, if it was only even a little. It just needed to be done.

* * *

So exactly three hours later Alex's alarm went off and Piper growled in frustration because of it. She had never been a morning person. In Litchfield she'd gotten quite good at it though but being in a more homely environment has snapped her right back out of it, and she was back to being really grumpy in the morning. Alex loved that grumpy Piper though. She found it adorable. The way she scrunched her nose when her girlfriend woke her up in the early mornings to catch another flight. The way she whined and tried to trick Alex into staying in bed for even a minute longer before she had to leave the comfort of not only the bed but mostly her love's perfect naked body.

This time wasn't any different. She scrunched her nose the way that Alex had missed her doing for years. Seeing it now made her happy and sad at the same time. If it was up to her she wouldn't miss any of those scrunching noses ever again but sadly she didn't have a say in this. Not because she didn't know if Piper would even want to, because if she did they still had to wait months before they would wake up together again.

"Pipes baby, we need to wake up," she spoke to the blonde softly. Piper just turned her body around and closed her eyes again. "Piper if you don't wake up then we don't get to talk and what am I supposed to do then huh? Just let you walk out of my life again without knowing when, where or if we'll ever see each other again?"

She knew that Piper was just being grumpy about waking up and this had nothing to do with her being resistant to them talking. Even though she knew that that would occur when she was fully awake. But Alex couldn't help the words slipping out of her mouth before thinking about them just because she has held them in long enough already. She was ready to talk and she needed her to be there and awake for that to happen.

"Alex I'm not even fully awake yet. Can't you just let me wake up in peace first. You do know that once I get back there won't be any of that don't you? So please just let me get my peace right now while I still fucking can." Now Alex has done it.. The morning grumpiness was something Piper could get out of if Alex would treat it the right way and this was certainly not the right way. Picking a fight when she was still so sleepy and most of all picking a fight on this morning of all mornings.

A morning where she opened her eyes and wasn't met with the sight of bunks and other inmates. A morning where she could have woken up due to an orgasm or giving one to that gorgeous woman that was laying next to her. She could go on and on with reasons why and how she wanted to wake up this exact morning. Instead of yelling to the brunette she asked the following question: "What time is it?"

"It's six. You need to be back by ten right? It's a two hour drive from here easily so you understand why I set the alarm this early." Alex was talking to her all business like. Like the way she would when she was working and her mules were hanging around in their suite. Piper always used to hate the fact that they were even allowed to hang around from time to time. She didn't get why Alex allowed these woman to be in their home even if a hotel was only temporary. "And we still need to talk Piper. You promised me yesterday that we would talk before you would go back. That time is now. If we don't talk now, we don't talk at all and I'm not going to let that happen."

"Fine Alex." She was sitting up for this and waiting for the older woman to take the lead. Of course Piper knew she had to talk to her but she still wasn't in the mood for it. But she also knew that this time that wasn't a reason to just not have the talk because there simply wasn't another option for them. All those years ago Piper could still walk out of a room or something if she didn't want to talk or fight with her girlfriend and when she got back Alex would always be there. With or without mules, she would always be there when she got back.

Now she didn't even have the option to walk out simply because she couldn't come back, apologize and eventually have that talk anyway. "You want to talk, let's talk." Piper climbed out of the bed first because she was still naked and didn't like to feel that vulnerable when they would talk about their relationship and a possible future for them. She sat down back on the bed and crossed her arms. Alex immediately felt really stupid for approaching Piper like this. How the hell were they going to talk about their relationship If they weren't at all at ease around each other this morning?

"Baby come here okay." Piper looked up towards her ex-girlfriend/girlfriend. She didn't really know which one of the two they were right now? They made a deal yesterday but she didn't know if that deal was still standing this morning and that Alex was her girlfriend again. Still she decided to come closer to her because she asked her to and simply because she wanted to be near her. If Alex wouldn't have started this morning all pissy towards her she would have probably already worshiped her body again and the lack of that this morning wasn't helping her grumpiness at all.

She sat in between Alex's legs with her back towards her and waited for Alex to say or do something but that didn't even last a second because Alex wrapped her arms around the younger woman and brought her mouth almost immediately towards her earlobe. "Try and remember what I told you last night Piper. Just think baby. What did I tell you."

That wasn't hard for Piper at all. She didn't have to think long about that one. She memorized those words by heart already. "That no matter what happens I have to remember that you love me," she spoke firmly.

"That's right babe. And don't you forget it. I know I'm still a fuck up Pipes. I fucked up so many times with you I can't even believe it myself. My mom always used to tell me not to fuck it up with this one and look where we are now kid."

"I should have listened to her more. I mean she was my best friend and I loved her so much but in the end I didn't contact her enough and didn't even give her a chance to talk to me so that I could listen to her. A lot of my anger towards you for walking away was situated in the fact that I didn't give my mom the time of day in the months before she died. And that next to you leaving me almost ate me alive."

"Alex baby you don't have to tell me all of this now."

"Yeah kid I do. You have to understand that you are not solely the reason I started to use heroin. There are so many reasons and I would lie if I told you that you leaving me wasn't one of them. But it's not all on you Pipes. You don't have to carry that burden anymore. I refuse it and I won't let you."

"I should have still been there Alex. I hate myself for walking away when I did. You do know that right?"

"Yeah kid I know."

"But do you really Alex? Do you really know what it was like to leave you back then? Do you fully understand all of it? Because even now sometimes I still don't. All I know is that if I would have to do it all over again I couldn't. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done."

"You weren't wrong to. I wasn't doing right by you. I know that now."

"Even if that is the case I still shouldn't have left then Alex. There is no reason in the world that can make up for the way that I left you. I had no right to do something like that. Maybe you weren't the perfect girlfriend back then. Hell, you weren't I know that. But that still didn't give me an excuse to just abandon you like that."

They were maybe talking for like five minutes and even now there were more words spoken on the subject than ever before.

"Do you still mean what you said last night," Piper asks Alex carefully. "I said a lot of things last night kid."

"When I told you that I loved you and I wanted you for real this time, you told me that you loved me too and wanted to be whatever I wanted you to be."

"Yes Piper I still mean that. But what exactly does that make us right now? Because you never told me what you wanted me to be?"

"Is best friend, lover and girlfriend too much to ask," Piper stumbled the words out as quickly as she could.

"Mmh lover and girlfriend huh?"

"Yeah with you they're the same. Or at least a package deal. You always took care of me like a princess, hence the girlfriend and you made love to me like a lover."

"You're almost making me blush kid."

"Alex, I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry for leaving you. I wish I didn't have the balls back then."

"It's okay kid, it really is. It was fucked up timing but the right thing for you to do at that time. Does that make sense some? You've become an amazing woman and an even more amazing lover now."

"You know? I'm quite certain that has at least something to do with me not being there to hold you back from things Piper. You were traveling the world with me for three years. You gave up your life and your family and as much as I would have loved to keep traveling with you.. eventually it wouldn't have worked anyway because you did all of that for me."

"You know what we should do? Let's just count and see the score okay?"

Piper was making no sense at all according to Alex but she went with it anyway. "The score to what baby? Use your words Piper."

"I left you in Paris (1 for Piper), you named me (1 for Alex), I picked Larry over you (2 for Piper), you fucked me over in Chicago (2 for Alex). Baby can't we just leave it at that and call it even or something? I know this is bullshit and not logic at all but I'm so tired of fighting and talking with you and I'm just ready to start my life with you in a better way. You know; Alex and Piper 2.0. How does that sound?"

Piper is so fucking adorable when she's acting all twisty like this. It's almost not possible to understand her girlfriend when she is like this but a long time ago she figured that the best way to handle this is to just go with it, not question it and enjoy the high the blonde is experiencing with her.

"Piper and Alex 2.0. You got it babe."

Alex tried to get Piper to turn around so that they were face to face, Piper in Alex's lap and that she could kiss her lips for the first time this morning. "I'm going to miss you so much kid, but we're going to make it I promise."

Piper kissed Alex's lips a few more times before she processed what Alex was saying. "Yeah how are we going to manage that anyway? I'm not thrilled about you being in this apartment in Queens Alex. You're not safe here. And I want you safe and whole when I get out, do you understand me?"

"Yeah Pipes of course I understand you. But I'm not a millionaire right now and this shitty apartment is the best that I could do. I don't have the money or connections anymore to protect myself. So I guess I'll just have to count on my own two hands when it comes to my protection."

"You are not staying here even a week longer Alex. I'm not going to have it. I will call Polly and see if she can come up with a plan for you. She always knows her wicked ways around these sorts of things. Usually they sound bat shit crazy but I guess that is what we need right now."

"Hell no kid, I'm not going to accept help from Holly and I'm sure as hell not going to be seeing her. That was not part of the deal Piper."

"Alex come on. It's not like she's the same person as eight years ago also babe. She is my best friend and if you want to be with me for real this time that means that you have to accept her. That goes for her as well. But she already turned her mind around about you a long time ago.. I mean obviously that compromised when she heard I had to go to prison because of carrying a suitcase for you.. but I don't think she realized how much you meant to me until after we broke up."

Alex just looked at her in the way that she knew she wanted Piper to keep talking. To explain further. She wanted to hear more about the time right after Piper left her in Paris.

"Alex after I left you I went straight to Polly's because I couldn't go to my parents. They wouldn't understand why I would be crying after traveling around the world for years. I spent at least a month on her couch just crying my eyeballs out. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. I drank – A LOT. Polly didn't know what the hell she could do to get me out of it. She tried to talk to me about you but I wouldn't let her. When she would say mean things about you I was giving her the great Piper Chapman temper straight from hell."

"It was then that she realized that maybe you really were it for me.. and that she was part of the fuck up because she didn't accept you when we were together. Still then she didn't know what you did or what I did or why the hell we broke up anyway. She didn't even know what you did for a living. I didn't tell her either for another four years. Then on a drunken night drooling over some old pictures of you that she had found in the suitcase that I borrowed from her all those years ago.. it all came out. I needed to tell her. I needed her to understand what I had gone through in those years that we were together. I needed her to know and judge the real me."

"What did she say after?"

"She was shocked, obviously. She never thought we were that serious. You knew that already. But I don't think she ever expected us to have such a life together. And I'm not even talking about the drugs or anything. But I think for her hearing about the way we lived together and the way that we were completely invested in each other.. it wasn't how she saw us before then. She saw me as some stupid girl that was following you around everywhere. Which was true in some cases.. but she didn't see it from your side. The way that you loved me so completely and without effort. I think she felt really guilty for not seeing it then and for not being able to support me the right way when I left you. I don't think she ever forgot it after.. she always looked at me in a knowing way. She always seemed to see that you would never completely leave my mind and heart even at times when I didn't believe it myself."

"Wow."

If only Piper knew that Polly had betrayed her by sleeping with Larry. If only she knew that she was the one that he had 'cheated' on her with.. but she didn't. And right now seemed like the right moment for Polly to really help Piper and therefore apologize to Alex for the way that she had handled their relationship eight years ago. She didn't hear from Polly at all up until now which was weird but she knew that she would pick up her phone if she called her. So she did.

"Hi, this is Polly. Can't pick up the phone right now. Leave a message when it's important."

"Hey Pol, it's me. Piper. I'm on furlough right now and have to go back to Litchfield in three hours. Please call me back asap because I really need a favor from you Pol. It's life and death. Call me back please."

Polly was buying groceries when she heard her phone go off and was too late to fetch her phone out of her bag and not dropping Finn at the same time. When she heard Piper's message she immediately jumped to conclusions and figured that her blonde best friend had talked to Larry. Still she called her back because she figured that whatever happened she owed it to Piper.

"Pip, before you say anything I want you to know that…." She was interrupted by Piper before she could finish that sentence. "POL NO, hear me out please. I don't have time for this right now." She figured that Polly was going to apologize for her not being able to attend the funeral or her furlough at all.

"Please don't ask any questions before you hear me out okay. I really need you right now Pol. Can you promise me please?"

"Yeah Pipes. Shit what is going on.. Are you in trouble?"

"I'm not but Alex is. I'm with her right now Pol. I ran into her. It's a long story for another time.. but we're together and she's not safe here. Her old boss Kubra is looking all over for her and I don't want to go back knowing she's not safe, so I need your help okay?" Piper was trying to hold her tears back at this point. The possibility of Alex not being safe just hit her for the first time like a ton of bricks.

It was a lot to process over the phone with a newborn under your protection.

"Okay. Alex, not safe and old drug boss. Got it. Where are you right now Piper?"

"In Queens. She lives in an apartment in Queens."

"And what do you want from me exactly Pipes. I mean I want to take her in if that's what you want but I also need to think about Finn and from everything you told me this is not exactly a safe situation is it Pipe?"

"God no I wouldn't want to bring my little nephew into danger. I need him to be there when I get out. But does your aunt still have that house in the woods? Do you think that Alex could live there until she's safe or until I get out or until I figure out something else for her?"

Alex hated the fact that she heard Piper talk about her like that. Like she needed to be taken care of. Like she wasn't able to do that herself. But she knew that Piper wouldn't go back before she felt somewhat good about Alex's living situation.

Alex had heard Piper mention the cabin once and knew it had to be at least a four hour drive away from Litchfield and all of the living world to be exact. It was somewhere in the middle of nowhere and she wasn't exactly thrilled to be shipped off to that location. But she promised Piper to do it differently this time and knew that Piper needed her to do this.

In the meantime Piper was ready arranging everything with Polly over the phone and after all of her attention was back on Alex. "So, what do you say we'd do with the next fifty minutes?"

"I don't know kid. As much as I would like to take care of you right now.. I'm also still trying to wrap my head around last night and this morning and the fact that I'm not going to see you for another year. A year kid. How are we going to do this. And on top of that I'm hours away and won't be able to visit you won't I?"

Piper lied on the stand and that caused her sentence to be extended to seventeen months instead of fifteen. They already worked through five of them so she had another big year ahead of her in Litchfield. Which she should be thankful for because due to the mistrial the extending of her sentence wasn't as big as it would be if everything went according to plan in the trial.

"I know baby. And no you don't get to visit me. Hell, I even forbid you Alex. It is too dangerous and when I get out I want us to start our lives together. I need you alive and well for that. In the meantime I will figure out a way to make sure that we indeed get to start our lives once I get out without some drug boss hunting us around all the time."

"That's nice of you kid. But how are you going to manage that?" Alex was being sarcastic at this point. Like hell was Piper able to do that.

"I'm not going to tell you everything right now babe. The only thing I can say is that Celeste was a very wealthy woman and to her my wealth was apparently the most important thing. I have resources and I'm going to use them to get us out of this situation okay? All I need for you to do is to trust me to figure this out for us Alex."

"Fine. But what do you expect me to do in the meantime kid? Just wait around for your ass to get out of prison?"

"Alex. You're the reason I'm in there in the first place."

"2.0 kid. We're not going to mention that again. We can't use those things against each other for the rest of our lives Piper. If it is going to be like that it's not going to work."

She brings her body a little closer to Alex's and wraps her arms around her shoulders. She immediately buries her face in the crook of the older woman's neck and whispers into it. "I'm sorry I know. That wasn't fair. But none of it is really. I can't believe last night I wanted to rip your head off just as much as I wanted to fuck you and right now all I can say is that I love you and I'm going to miss you so much."

"Me too kid. We'll manage. I'm going to be on my best behavior around Polly and who knows? Maybe I'll write a book or something in the meantime."

Just then Piper receives a message from Polly that she has contacted the bureau of Alex's parole officer and with a little help of Celeste's money it could be arranged that the check-ins happened in a town nearby the cabin. Now that that was also arranged there was nothing holding Piper back from enjoying her long lost love for a little while.

In the car back to Litchfield they were holding hands the entire time. Piper had called Cal and explained the situation to him shortly. He was too caught up in his mind with Neri anyway, so convincing him that it would be better for Alex to drive her back wasn't that difficult. He was totally in a honeymoon state so even breaking the news to him about Alex didn't scare him. He just told Piper that he was happy for her and that he would be there for her if she or Alex needed something.

She also told her little brother that Alex would be staying in the cabin and that the news wasn't allowed to be spread any further than Polly and him. She even asked him if he wanted to keep an eye on her because she couldn't and she didn't want the love of her life to spend the upcoming year all alone and miserable. Because she already knew that Alex would make no effort in meeting new people. And even if she could, because the cabin wasn't exactly approachable, she probably wouldn't because she wanted to stay as true to Piper as she could. But just because Piper couldn't enjoy her life outside yet didn't mean that she wanted Alex to live as a loner. She already felt a little guilty about the location of the cabin and the consequences because of it.

But for now keeping Alex alive and healthy was all that she could wish for.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **I really enjoyed writing this new chapter. I had it on paper in no time and that makes me exited for the rest of this story. I hope you all are also as exited to read more. Please let me know what you think ;).**


	4. Chapter 4

**Previously**

 _She also told her brother that Alex would be staying in the cabin and that the news wasn't allowed to be spread any further than Polly and him. She even asked him if he wanted to keep an eye on her because she couldn't and she didn't want the love of her life to spend the upcoming year all alone and miserable. Because she already knew that Alex would make no effort in meeting new people. And even if she could, because the cabin wasn't exactly approachable, she probably wouldn't because she wanted to stay as true to Piper as she could. But just because Piper couldn't enjoy her life outside yet didn't mean that she wanted Alex to live as a loner. She already felt a little guilty about the location of the cabin and the consequences because of it._

 _But for now keeping Alex alive and healthy was all that she could wish for._

* * *

 **Chapter four**

It was a month after Piper returned to Litchfield and to say it was a month from hell was still an understatement according to Alex. Still after this time there was no way for Alex to safely contact her girlfriend in prison and she had to go another eleven months like this before Piper would get out. That is if she kept that temper of hers in check and didn't get into more trouble.

And according to the five months she had spent in prison together with her.. that was not a given. She just wished that Piper wanted to be with her just as bad as the other way around, and that that would be enough reason to behave herself even is someone was provoking her or something.

Right now the only way for her to contact her girlfriend was through Polly. Polly would visit Piper once in two weeks and during that visit she would bring her letters from Alex that she wouldn't trust sending to the prison herself. Calling was also not an option for her because she was still convinced that Kubra had his ways and was always once step ahead.

She was sitting at a desk by the window and had to admit that she had spent almost every waking hour at this desk writing. Mostly to Piper although she already had some ideas for a novel but she couldn't get herself to work on it instead of providing her girlfriend with more letters when she had the chance. She knew that if it was her she would live for Piper's letters inside Litchfield.

 _ **It was only a month ago that she was meeting with Polly right after she dropped off Piper at Litchfield. Piper arranged it so that Polly would be escorting Alex towards the cabin of her aunt. Alex already knew that the trip wouldn't be pretty like she promised Piper. And on top of that she felt kind of guilty that she was about to meet Finn for the first time which was probably the one thing Piper wanted more than to be out of prison or to be with Alex. When she arrived at Polly's she had to mentally prepare herself for at least five minutes before she was ready to ring the bell to her front door.**_

" _ **Alex," the brunette woman opened the door and walked straight back in mumbling something under her breath which didn't exactly reach Alex's ears but sounded a lot like Supercunt.**_

" _ **Hi Polly. Fancy seeing you here."**_

" _ **Yeah that was the first thing that popped into my head when Pipe called. Let me grab some last things so that we can go right away."**_

" _ **Look Hol, I mean Polly. Let's get this straight. The only reason I'm doing this is because Piper wants me to. I know that means something to you and she has asked me to play nice so I'm trying here okay?"**_

In the morning Polly would come to the cabin for the third time, counted with the drop off, to collect Alex's letters and ask her if she needed anything. She still did this for Piper because the two of them didn't get along one bit. Even though Piper told her that she thought different about Alex now, Alex didn't believe one word of it. And on top of that Polly always seemed very on edge before she had to visit Piper. Like she didn't want to go in the first place. Like it was an obligation she'd rather not deal with.

It was almost dinnertime and despite she wasn't really hungry she grabbed a pizza out of the freezer and prepared it. She tried to remember constantly that Piper would want her to eat something, so she did. After she walked right back towards the desk and grabbed another letter to write for Piper. It was the second one today and the 67th in total.

 _(67)_

 _To my Pipes,_

 _Yet another day is almost over and although I don't want you to feel bad about me being here I can say for the hundred time that it isn't easy for me. But then again.. It isn't easy for me to be anywhere without you. It never was to be honest. Even in all of those years apart it felt like a piece of me was missing. I was never really at ease, comfortable. I wasn't even comfortable in my own skin without you there. As you already know now I tried a lot of things to replace you with but none of them worked, not even in the slightest. I love you Piper. I can not say that enough because I still can't quite believe that I'm allowed but mostly able to say that to you again. Because even if I wasn't allowed I would still love you. Always have and always will. God this turns out to be maybe the most sappy letter up until now but I really miss you my girl. And I can't wait for all of this to be over and to start our lives together. Who would have thought huh? The drug smuggling lesbian ending up together with the blonde WASP in the end. But you know there was at least one person that believed in us that much. My mom. She believed fiercely that you were the best thing to ever happen to me and if I ever did anything to compromise it I would have hell to pay for. And she was right. But I'm sure that being without you was even worse like hell. And it doesn't feel any different right now. I'm writing this letter knowing that Polly will get to give it to you tomorrow. I'm glad that you get to see her kid. We're still not there yet Piper. There's something about her. I can't quite put my finger on it but I will. This will be a short one for now Pipes. I'll write more soon._

 _All my love,_

 _AV_

Even though Alex wrote about two letters a day, sometimes more, that didn't mean that Polly could deliver them all to Piper. So the next morning she would hand ten chosen letters to Polly and the rest she put in a box for Piper. The ones that Piper did get she copied and put them in there also. They were all numbered so if Piper ever felt like it she could read them in the right order.

The next morning Polly was there bright and early and even though the two women still didn't particularly like each other Alex knew exactly how the smaller brunette liked her coffee and would prepare it for her when she got there immediately. But then again it was about the only company she received once in two weeks so she was even glad to hear her own voice again.

"So what have you been up to lately?" she asked the brunette without sounding too uninterested. "Oh you know. Same old. Finn won't stop crying, Pete is never home and I have no life whatsoever," the brunette answered. Motherhood didn't exactly made Polly happier according to Alex. It wasn't her place to say something about it but the brunette was even more cranky then when she met her in the earlier days.

Of course what she didn't know was that Polly was all but happy with herself lately. She cheated on Pete with Larry and was all but happy about that fact. Yeah Larry was there for her and that wasn't something she could say about her husband, but that didn't give her an excuse to cheat on him. On the father of her child. She and Pete were once really good together and right now she would give anything to get that back. To get back the man that she fell in love with, and she hoped that eventually he fell in love with their son as hard as she did. Because she did fall in love with Finn, but the circumstances weren't anything to be happy about right now.

"Wow that sounds inspiring yes," Alex said to her. Polly especially wasn't on her best behavior today. "What's it to you anyway. Like you have an inspiring life. You spent almost half a year in prison, brought your ex-girlfriend with you and therefore you ruined her life. And look at you now. You're almost on the run for your old boss, so I wouldn't call that freedom exactly and the woman that you supposedly love is still in the prison you sent her too."

"Alright Holly. Let it all out. I know you've been dying to since you saw me a month ago. And to be honest. I'm quite surprised that it took you so long. And for your information. I do love Piper. I've never loved anything or anyone in this world more than her. Nothing or no one comes even close. I love her more than myself. In fact I think besides my mom she's the only person that I've ever loved, and since she's death… She will be the only person that I will ever love. And despite what the hell you think of me. I wouldn't be here in this cabin if it wasn't for Piper. Hell no. If it wasn't for Piper I would be in fucking Argentina right now, so fuck you. I know I'm not safe here but I can't bail on her can I? Or do you want me to run to the other end of the earth, because that is still not going to change a fucking thing. Piper would still be in prison but I reckon she would be a little less comfortable there not knowing where I was. And if you can't handle that she wants me in her life I don't even know what you are doing here in the first place."

"But why did you have to name her Alex? She had a good thing going with Larry. She was happy, the happiest I've seen her since she left you I might add. It took her so long to get to that level again and _BAM_ , there you were again. And the four of us, we were friends. Pete was there. Piper and Pete were buddies you know. She was adventurous. She had everything that I didn't and what he didn't get with me he got with Piper. They did stuff together. Stuff that Larry and I didn't have the balls for. And now it's all fucked up Alex. And it's because of you."

"Polly, do you hear yourself right now? Maybe Piper was happy with Larry. You said it yourself. The happiest you've seen her since she left me. But was it even an comparison Polly? Because Piper told me what she was like when she left me. And I doubt that you forgot what it was like for her. So can you honestly tell me that she was as happy as she could be with Larry. Can you honestly tell me that she would be happier right now with Larry than with me? That it even comes close to what we had. Because Piper told me that you understood that now."

"No."

"Than what is wrong. Tell me. Because I know there is something going on with you. In fact every time you come here you're not even trying to convince me that you are happy to go see Piper. And by all means I would gladly go in your place if I could. So I know there is something going on, and the fact that you just lost it about fucking Larry for God sake. Makes me think it even more. Come on Polly. You can talk to me. It's not like I have anywhere else to be."

"I cheated on Pete."

"Now we're talking," the tall brunette chuckled.

"Alex, this is not funny."

"Alright sorry. No it's not. So tell me, who's the lucky dude."

"I can't tell you," Polly told Alex.

"What do you mean you can't tell me. It's not like I can blab it around right now can I?"

"It's too horrible Alex. And you hate me already. Even you are going to hate me more."

"What do you mean even me? Who else is going to hate you Polly?"

"Piper."

"Polly, what did you do?"

"I slept with Larry."

Alex couldn't help herself. This is not something Piper would be happy about. And still she couldn't help herself from laughing out loud. "No you didn't."

"Yeah I did."

"Jfc Polly. Why would you even want that." Of course if Piper was there her reaction would be different. Because she knew it would upset the blonde to hear this from Polly and she would be there for her. But fact is. She didn't give a fuck about Larry. Hearing this even less. And hearing Polly talking about her perfect life wasn't something she could handle right now so the fact that Polly fucked up brought them closer together in some way.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. It's not like you can get into it anyway you stupid lesbian. But you get why I can't tell anyone. Piper is going to be so pissed at me. I regretted it the second after it happened. But I can't turn back time you know. I just have to deal with it but obviously I'm not doing a good enough job because you saw right through me and you don't even know me that well."

"I know you Polly. You think I don't, but I do. Piper and I traveled the world for three years remember. That's a long time living with someone. You get to know them in and out. You memorize their stories onto a point where you ask yourself if you keep going this way you will even have stories to tell each other for the rest of your life. But Piper and I managed Polly. We were good together. I know I fucked up in the end. I know that's on me and you get to hate me for that, you really do. God knows I hate me for it. It cost me eight years of my life without her. And now that I have her back I still have to manage another year without her. But I know you Polly. I love Piper and it would mean the world to her if we got along. So let's do that. Hell, you screwing Larry and therefore fucking up for once makes me relate to you already an ounce more than an hour ago. You're not a horrible person. Yes what you did was fucked up but it doesn't define you. Piper will probably be pissed but I promise you that I will make sure that after her tantrum, and you giving her some space that I will get her to talk to you."

"You would do that for me," she asked the older woman.

"Yes I would. Piper cares about you. And even if you tell her that and she says that she doesn't, she does. And I will make her see that again. Not only for you but also for her. She needs you Polly. You can't tell her this while she's in prison. I'm not going to be there to get her in check and she will lose her shit in there if she hears this. And she can't get more time added. If she does because of this, then you haven't seen me pissed before. So I really need you to get your act together before you go see her today. Because if I already suspected something, I know she definitely will too."

Polly just nodded.

"I need you to promise me okay?"

"Yeah okay."

"Good. Now drink that coffee and tell me what you want. It might sound crazy but maybe I can help you."

"I just want things to be like before. Like when Piper was still here. She was always able to keep Pete here with me. To keep him out of trouble but in the same way make him feel like he was trouble or something. They were like brother and sister. Even I could see that he had a hard time when Piper went to prison. But nobody gave him credit for it. Larry was her fiance so he was entitled to and I as the best friend also but he.. nobody, not even him felt like he had a right to feel sucky about it I guess. And then with Finn.. I guess he was scared as hell. I wanted a family so bad and I knew Piper had talked him into it some. Told him that everything would be okay and that his life wouldn't change as much as he thought. But with Piper leaving it did and I guess that he blames Finn for it instead."

"Wow, that's fucked up."

"Yes it is."

"Is Pete cool with Cal?"

"They're not exactly best friends but they get along, why?"

"Because Cal is visiting me in the weekend you remember? You arranged it yourself because Piper wanted you to. And maybe it's not such a bad idea for you to suggest for Pete to come up here also. Like some sort of guys weekend, except that I'm a girl but I'm good with guys. They tell me things. Hell, they even ask me for tips about fucking women. I will get him drunk and I can talk to him about you. Because if according to Pete Piper is adventurous then he hasn't met me."

Polly was hesitant at first but didn't see what more damage it could do to her relationship. She knew that she had to tell Pete about Larry at some point. And Alex suggested for her to do it before Piper was out. So she had a whole year to work on their relationship and everything was almost back to normal before Piper got out. Then when she told Piper she could fall back on Pete and Alex would help Piper get over it the best way she could.

"Is your head clear enough to go see her Pol?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it. My head is a lot more clear than before I came here. I know all is not right in the world yet.. but it's a start I guess. I still have a long way to go and I'm not exactly looking forward to it."

"Have you talked to Larry after?"

"He called me a few times. Wanted to get together to talk. Was suggesting for us to start something together but I know that I will only be a replacement for Piper. In his mind it works that way and he gets Finn as a plus. But I don't want that. I never wanted him. For me he was also a lame excuse and a lame replacement for Pete. I don't want anything to do with him anymore."

"That's good. Because when Piper gets out. I don't want that guy around at all."

"You do know he will try though? Because whatever he has said to Piper, he will try and get her back once she is out. She's the perfect picture for him you know. Perfect blonde and a WASPy family. And he somehow got in the good books with her mother.. so you know she's going to push Piper in his direction."

"I can handle that. And Piper can too. She's a big girl you know. She's seen way worse than a manipulative mother who wants her to get back with her ex. And I'm not letting her go again unless she tells me she doesn't want me anymore. And even then she has to be really convincing because I doubt that _that_ will ever happen again. She's not only my girlfriend or the love of my life. She's my family. I hope you understand that now."

"I really do."

 **A/N**

 **So here's a Polly/Alex chapter! Updated this faster than I would've thought but I'm too excited to start this story for real! And that means jumping forward two years to when Piper is out of prison for a year and her and Alex have made it to where they are today. Because they will, right?**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Previously**_

" _I can handle that. And Piper can too. She's a big girl you know. She's seen way worse than a manipulative mother who wants her to get back with her ex. And I'm not letting her go again unless he tells me she doesn't want me anymore. And even then she has to be really convincing because I doubt that that will ever happen again. She's not only my girlfriend or the love of my life. She's my family. I hope you understand that now."_

" _I really do."_

 **Chapter five – 2 years later**

"Babe, can you please turn on the fucking dishwasher if it is already loaded," Piper screams into the living room where Alex is reading a book.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute," she replies without thinking about it because she's too caught up scanning the words.

"Not in a minute Alex. Right now." That gets Alex's attention. Even though Piper is already a year out of Litchfield she still struggles with her emotions and isn't always fair in her reactions. Even from before prison she knew Piper could be like this but after prison it was worse. But still. Having Piper here with her moods was a million times better then without her in that horrible cabin.

A cabin she would not likely return to anytime soon. It has held its promises as a safe house but as far as Alex was concerned, she was more than done with the place. She had lived there for almost ten months before the coast was finally clear from anything drug related and she could move into an apartment in the city.

She walked up towards her girlfriend and wrapped her arms around her from behind immediately. Piper visibly relaxed like she always did when Alex would wrap her arms around her. She also knew that this was her cue for being a little pissy at Alex when she didn't deserve it or it was about something little. "I did it again, didn't I?"

"Yeah baby, but it's okay. You were right. I should've put on the dishwasher because it was already loaded.. but there are other ways to let me in on that fact."

"I hate that I'm being like this and I don't even see it myself. Or at least not soon enough so that I can stop it."

"Well in this way I don't have to find an excuse to wrap my arms around you like this and kiss your neck the way you know I love to do," Alex said while she placed a soft kiss with her plumb lips onto Piper's pulse point.

"But babe you never have to find an excuse for that, you know that."

"Yeah I'm lucky like that. So what time was Polly coming over again?"

Agitated Piper was back again. It was only a month ago that Polly finally told her that she had slept with Larry while Piper was still in prison and Larry's fiancé. She wanted to tell her best friend sooner but the circumstances when Piper got out didn't let her. More specifically Alex didn't let her.

She knew what it was like to get out and to get overwhelmed by the world. And mostly therefore she was in a cabin and didn't really have to take care of anyone but herself. But Piper had a little more on her hands when she got out. She not only needed to deal with the last things between her and Larry, as moving some stuff and such, but also her family who up until that point weren't informed by her steady relationship with the one and only Alex Vause.

According to Alex that was more than enough already. So when everything else over the past eleven months calmed down as much as they could, Polly had Alex's approval and support in the situation. The worst was that Piper got way more angry at Alex than with Polly at all. Because the love of her life lied to her for almost two years about this. She figured why Alex didn't want to tell her in prison.. but the second she got out she had a right to know. Polly didn't tell Piper that Alex wanted Polly to wait with telling her even after she got out. She just let Piper get angry at her. It wasn't fair to Alex to let Piper in on that little detail because she knew the taller brunette would be there for her after. When she and Piper were alone, the forgiving Polly eventually would be all on Alex.

"Eight," Piper just answered.

It would be the first time that Piper allowed Polly to come to their apartment and talk to her in person about the situation. Alex at least got shit for two weeks about this all. Two weeks with Piper being fully angry at her. There was no anger treatment she didn't get over those two weeks. She experienced the silent treatment, the curse treatment, at one point Piper was throwing things. It was at the end of those two weeks that Piper did that.. it was also the breaking point and it got worse before it got better.

 _ **After another attempt from Alex to talk to Piper about Polly, Piper stormed into their bedroom and Alex moved right after her. She was not going to let Piper walk away this time. She endured this bullshit for almost two weeks now. Two weeks of Piper being pissy and all but affectionate towards her. She knew she told Polly that she would get her and Piper to talk.. but damn. If this lasted any longer she wouldn't know what to do. Not only did Piper barely speak to her. She didn't touch her. Not once single finger had touched her. And we're not talking about touching intimately. No not even a single touch or brush of her fingers against any body part of hers. And she was missing the blonde immensely even though she was there, she wasn't.**_

" _ **Alex I swear to God. If you talk about Polly one more time I'm going to smack your head into something."**_

" _ **What the actual fuck Piper. You don't get to say things like that. Violence is not an answer here kid."**_

" _ **Don't call me kid. You don't get to call me kid right now."**_

" _ **But babe if you would just really listen to me for a second."**_

" _ **One."**_

" _ **Jesus fucking Christ Piper. I don't get to call you kid but you're certainly acting like one right now."**_

" _ **And you don't get to call me babe also, Alex. It's Piper to you."**_

" _ **Fine. Take that away from me also."**_

" _ **What's that supposed to mean," the blonde asked.**_

" _ **Nothing."**_

" _ **No Alex, what do you mean by that?"**_

" _ **That you should get of your high horse PIPER." She pronounced her name very clear this time. "Because in case you didn't know. We're supposed to love each other. And I know you're pissed at me and Polly. But I figured that at least once in the past few weeks you might have missed me a little. Like I miss the fuck out of you by the way."**_

 _ **Piper just shrugged her shoulders. But everything Alex was saying did sink in. It did. Everything about Polly she didn't want to hear. But the fact that her girlfriend is hurt and missing her did sink in.. Still she wasn't ready to give up this fight though.**_

" _ **I didn't sign up for any of this you know? I didn't ask Polly to sleep with Larry. But it happened and she came to talk to me about it because there was nobody else. And you wanted me to try, so I did."**_

 _ **Piper sees red at this. "So you're saying that it is my own fault? That I wasn't informed about this earlier because I asked you to play nice with Polly?"**_

" _ **Well maybe if you hadn't left me in Paris none of this would've happened," Alex spat back and regretted it the moment the words left her mouth. They had an agreement about this. Piper and Alex 2.0. They weren't supposed to bring this up in times like this. It wasn't fair. But it always came back to this didn't it?**_

 _ **Alex didn't even finish the whole sentence before Piper threw the vase from their side table in the bedroom right next to Alex's head. Come to think of it, it was right after the words 'left me' that she picked it up and threw it without hesitation.**_

 _ **But fair's fair. Alex shouldn't have said what she did. She was crossing a huge line and Piper was too. "If you do that again. KID, I swear on my mother's grave that I will leave." But even though Piper was astonished herself by what she did and what Alex said to her just now, she picked up another candle from the table and threw that in Alex's direction too while she spoke the words. "I hate you Alex. I hate you and I can't believe you just said that." Right after she bursts out in tears and even though Alex wants to run to her and put her arms around her she couldn't. She couldn't move one inch.**_

 _ **She couldn't move until she moved towards the direction of the door and was gone. Just like she said she would be.**_

"Okay. Do you still want me to be here when she comes or do you want me to go?"

"You need to be here Alex. I don't want to lose my shit with her the way I did with you. But maybe you can just go read in the bedroom or something. That way you can probably hear when things get out of hand or something?"

"I'm not going anywhere kid." She heard herself say this a lot the past two weeks. Piper said she knew and she believed her but she didn't believe Piper or even herself. Because until today she still doesn't understand what made her leave. How she could have done that. Yes Piper was crossing a very big line, but still they weren't supposed to leave each other ever. Piper was vulnerable, had every reason to and she wasn't there for her like she promised her she would be.

But in one fucked up way or another.. Right now she felt like she could really leave Paris behind her. Now that she knew what it felt like to walk away. And she already knew what Piper must have felt like being the one left behind.

Crawling back to Piper wasn't as easy as Alex let Piper back in. Even though it lasted eight years before it happened. Right from the moment Piper walked into prison Alex wanted her back. If she was really being honest there wasn't a day in Alex's life from the moment that Piper left her that she didn't want the blonde back. She tried hard not to, but it was always her. It would always be her.

 _ **She just strolled the streets not particularly doing anything or going anywhere while she thought about what happened back at the apartment. It was already pretty late. Piper would already be asleep she figured. Or at least she hoped so, because she had no place to go to really. She wanted to visit Polly or something but knew that she would wake up the smaller brunette and figured it wasn't the best move to visit Piper's 'best friend' after a fight about that said friend.**_

 _ **Even though she was already walking around for almost three hours she still had no idea what she was supposed to do about the situation. Piper had really lost her shit on her. She always knew the blonde had a temper and in the early days of their relationship Piper slapped her across the face that one - no two times to be honest. But she figured that was an obvious result of being a lesbian drug importer who had to flirt with mules to lure them in. It didn't bother her back then. Jealous Piper turned her on immensely and she always knew just the right ways to make it up to the blonde.**_

 _ **If she thought about those times now she knew that she was in the wrong instead of Piper. Back then Piper had every right to be jealous. She gave her reason to even though all those girls never meant anything to her. She just didn't know the rules, or at that time maybe pretended that she didn't.**_

 _ **Between the two of them she was probably the most jealous one now. Piper's love for her was unconditionally and the blonde was really confident about Alex's love for her. The other way around Alex was still sometimes scared to lose the girl which resulted in a lot of jealousy from her side. Jealousy which wasn't well placed because Piper gave her absolutely no reason to. The blonde didn't do a thing but love her from the moment she got out of Litchfield. Alex was a badass but Piper could make her feel like a princess. All loved and beautiful. She hated it and she loved it.**_

 _ **Still when they would be in a bar now she couldn't help but feel jealous when a guy couldn't keep his eyes off of her girlfriend. She knew that the blonde wouldn't give him the time of day but Alex would still act jealous and overprotective. There was this one time a few months ago when Piper was about six months out of prison that she grabbed a guy by his collar and pushed him up against the wall. She could still remember his feet dangling right above the ground. He wasn't even that much smaller than her but the adrenaline coursed through her veins and made her stronger than ever.**_

 _ **Piper had calmed her down by just placing a firm but loving hand on her shoulder and a whisper in her ear. "I'm yours Al. Let him go," she had spoken. That night the blonde took the brunette home instead of the other way around. And she showed her exactly how much she meant those words.**_

When Polly arrived Alex was already in the bedroom reading. Before Piper opened the front door she walked to Alex first. Not for Alex, more for herself. Even though she told Alex she believed that she wouldn't leave her once again, she found herself checking up on her more than she would care to admit.

Losing Alex again was no option for her but that night she came close. She stepped over a very big line. But then again their relationship was always heated and this time it was no different. In the early days she'd slapped Alex multiple times during fights and sex because of her job as an importer.. but Alex never ever laid a hand on her. Until that night.

 _ **When Alex came home later that night, about four hours after she left, she didn't expect for her to return at all, at least not that night but she did. And the state she was in she'd expected even less. When Alex barged through the door Piper was nowhere in sight. But even though Alex couldn't see her, she knew exactly where her girlfriend would be. She wouldn't have moved from the 'crime scene' and could expect her to still be in the bedroom.**_

 _ **She entered it without warning and found the blonde clutching her pillow to her chest while she was asleep but obviously had been crying for most of the night. The sight caused pain in her chest but still her original plan was above that pain.**_

 _ **Without considering the blonde still being asleep she straddled the younger woman. She didn't have to wait long because the younger woman opened her eyes almost immediately. Not because of her presence but due to the roughness which she was handling her with.**_

" _ **Alex, you're back," the blonde mumbled groggily.**_

 _ **Alex answered her with a harsh bitch slap in the face. She'd never seen Piper's eyes as wide as they were after that. But she didn't care.**_

" _ **Don't you dare ever do that to me again," she spoke harshly towards the woman she had pinned to the bed by now.**_

 _ **At that Piper was still confused. Alex was back but was angry and she didn't know what else.. but there was something more. She figured her to be angry, maybe sorry even for bringing up her mom into this but mostly angry.**_

 _ **And apparently horny she finally figured out when she felt Alex grind her hips into hers. She slapped Piper across the face again. "Don't ever make me leave like I did again."**_

 _ **So there was that. She knew Piper wasn't totally at fault. She shouldn't have left. She was mad at Piper but she was mostly mad at herself for leaving in the first place. She should've never have done that and swearing on her mother's grave.. it was unacceptable but it was also the reason she did leave. After swearing those words to Piper.. she couldn't not leave. She had to. She'd sworn on her mom's grave. She wanted nothing more than the grab the blonde by her shoulders and shake her or hug some sense into her.. but she had to leave. Or the promise wouldn't have meant anything and she would have mocked her mom's death. That wasn't an option. She knew it and Piper knew it too.**_

 _ **Before Piper could even attempt some kind of answer the brunette placed her luscious lips into the light pink ones beneath her and kissed the younger woman with all she was worth. Piper tried to push her off. Tried to slap her back or even get some of the control back but it wasn't possible. Alex was too strong, too into it and too far gone.**_

 _ **So she just let it happen. Because she knew the older woman would never really hurt her. And she knew that part of it she deserved. And she knew what this would be. A hate fuck. They haven't had one of those in a while. In fact, she can't even remember the last one. It was probably before they entered the prison and broke up all those years ago.**_

 _ **Alex didn't slap her again. In a way it was even payback for the two times that Piper had slapped her across the face all those years ago. Even now they were even on that ground and after the anger left Alex's body there was nothing left but regret and love for the younger woman beneath her. Instead of biting and sucking the skin of her neck after the slaps, her kisses grew softer and she moved her mouth towards the blonde's earlobe. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."**_

 _ **Piper knew she was talking about leaving. Not about bitch slapping her across the face. In her mind she deserved it. She asked for it and to be honest she was actually pretty into it. Because when Alex ground her hips into her she knew exactly where those slaps would lead to. And Alex wouldn't disappoint. She never did.**_

When Piper opened the door for Polly she was surprised to see that the brunette had brought her son Finn with her. Within the conversation that they were about to have was no place for the young boy.

"I'm sorry Pipes. Pete had a shift at the bar and couldn't get out of it so I had to bring him."

"Are you sure you didn't bring him as a peace offering," Piper snapped back immediately.

Before Polly could answer that question the couple was already interrupted by Alex. She wasn't planning to but had been following the conversation through the bedroom door. There was no point in Finn witnessing the two friends bickering, so she decided to step in before it got out of hand.

"There's my favorite boy in the whole wide world," she announced herself loudly while she approached the two women. Without even acknowledging the both of them she grabbed the little boy out of Polly's hands and walked back towards the bedroom. "We're going to have some fun tonight are we bud? I'm going to read you some stories maybe you even get to stay over here with me and auntie Piper. How about that huh?"

The little boy just wiggled his legs due to everything Alex was saying to him. Over the past two years the boy had grown awfully fond of the tall brunette. Alex wouldn't dare to admit it herself but Finn was maybe the second best thing that has happened to her apart from being with Piper again.

She'd never expected herself to interact with kids let alone love one as if he was her own. Or as close to it as she could get right now. She wasn't ready to admit it to Piper just yet but she wanted to give Piper everything she wanted in life. And she knew that would implicate a kid eventually.

Back in the living room Piper was trying to keep her composure in front of Polly. She wasn't planning to but seeing Alex jump in and get Finn got her back to her senses. She wanted the little boy in her life no matter what and fighting with her best friend wasn't going to help her with that.

"Okay Pol, I'm going to give you three minutes to explain yourself. For the sake of Alex and Finn, I will not respond after. I will try to keep myself calm and after that I want you to leave. I need to think things through without being as angry as I was the past two weeks. Finn will stay here tonight as he will obviously be a big part in me forgiving you eventually."

She didn't lie to her friend. She was mad at her and she wanted it to be clear that if it wasn't for Finn and Alex's bond with him and Polly. She wouldn't even reconsider letting Polly explain herself for a very long time or even at all.

"Pipe, listen. I know you want me to explain things.. but truth is. I can't. There's no explanation for what I've done. No explanation that will make you forgive me anyway. What I've done is wrong and will always be wrong. I can't talk my way out of it Pipe. I don't even want to and I'm not even going to try. All I can say really is that I am sorry and that it will never happen again. I love Pete. Hell, I'm even in love with Pete again thanks to your girlfriend. I love my family and I won't ever do anything again to compromise it like this. All I'm saying is that I hope that Alex and especially you will want to be a part of that family again."

As promised Polly stood up after and without glancing in the direction of the bedroom she walked out of the apartment. She knew that Finn would be in good hands with them. The little boy already had a drawer in the apartment so that he could stay over whenever was necessary.

For now.. all Polly could do was wait and hope. Wait for Alex to stay true on her word and hope for Piper to forgive her.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**

 _ **Bold italics**_ **– flashback**

 _ **Previously**_

 _As promised Polly stood up after and without glancing in the direction of the bedroom she walked out of the apartment. She knew that Finn would be in good hands with them. The little boy already had a drawer in the apartment so that he could stay over whenever was necessary._

 _For now.. all Polly could do was wait and hope. Wait for Alex to stay true on her word and hope for Piper to forgive her._

* * *

 **Chapter six**

After Polly left, Piper walked back into the bedroom and witnessed Finn sitting on Alex's lap, clinging to every word that was coming from the brunette's lips. She was reading him a story, just like she promised him that she would. But when Piper entered the room the brunette diverted her eyes for a slight second from the letters in the book, just to make sure that Piper was okay.

It seemed like she hadn't been crying and the anger that was there permanently for the past few weeks already seemed to have faded a little. Or maybe this was just Alex hoping that everything would return back to normal as quickly as possible.

She read to Finn for another ten minutes before she noticed that the young boy had rested his head against her chest and he was fast asleep. She put him down in the middle of their bed and climbed out of it herself. Piper already left the bedroom earlier to take a bath. Alex decided to take her chances and figure out how the conversation between the two former friends really went down.

But before she could get any words out, she just stood in the doorway admiring her girlfriend's naked body. A body she had been deprived of for a few weeks. For other couples that may not even seem like a long time. But for them it was.

Ever since Piper was out of Litchfield they made love to each other every night. Or at least every day. They didn't plan it, they didn't make a vow about it. It just always happened. It was like that need to have each other again never disappeared, even though Piper was already back with her for almost a year now.

"So?"

"There's not much to say Alex."

"What do you mean? Didn't you guys talk at all?"

"She talked. I let her talk for three minutes. I figured it was best for her to leave after that in order for me to process everything without losing my shit on anyone. I told her that Finn would spend the night here."

"Yeah I figured. He's already fast asleep so that's a good thing. Maybe you and I can catch up over a glass of wine on the couch when you're done bathing?"

Before Polly came over, Alex and Piper seemed alright but the truth was ever since that fight a few days ago they were still walking on eggshells around each other. Yes that fight ended with incredible hate sex. During they both weren't the least bit scared to hurt each other even though there did occur pulling, biting and scratching which must have caused some sort of physical pain. But then again that pain was barely felt due to the incredible passion both women felt for each other in that moment.

Piper's reaction wasn't enthusiastic much but she agreed. And right now that was all that Alex could hope for. And even though Piper was mad at Alex deep inside for leaving her and of course for lying to her about Polly and Larry.. she herself also felt the severe consequences of not spending time with Alex those last couple of weeks. Of not giving her girlfriend the attention that she knows she deserves and quite frankly the other way around.

Why would she deprive herself from the woman any longer when she is all that she can think about. When the moment the taller brunette left that apartment after that fight, she wished for her to come back with all that she had. Why would she now push her girlfriend away when she got exactly what she wished for. She came back for her. She would always come back for her. Alex wasn't anything like Piper. Because Alex would always come back to her. And it was time for her to show her appreciation for that fact. For her to forget, or at least forgive the fact that Alex had left her alone for those four hours and just be happy about the fact that she was back, and that she would always be coming back, for her.

She walked back into the living room after her bath where Alex was already seated on the couch with a glass of Merlot and a book in her lap. She loved seeing Alex like this. It was one of her favorite sights back in the days and also that didn't change. It was the Alex that was so in her own world that she didn't notice anything else around her.

She didn't notice Piper walking up to her and taking a seat on the couch with her. She didn't notice Piper until the blonde grabbed the book out of Alex's hands and lay it down on the ground. It was the first time ever since the fight that Piper approached her. Yes they've had intimate moments since the hate sex and the fight. But those moments were always instigated by Alex, never by Piper. Alex knew that she was allowed to touch the blonde. To hold her, but ever since the fight she did nothing else. She wouldn't dare.

In her mind she did overstep a boundary with the hate sex between them. It wasn't a way to solve the situation. It didn't work back in the days and it wouldn't work now. It was good when it happened, but seeing them together now: it didn't fix anything between them. The situation between Piper and Polly wasn't fixed. And the situation between the two lovers wasn't that different. Their relationship involved a big crack ever since Alex walked out of that front door and left Piper alone in the apartment. And she still wasn't sure how she was able to fix it.

It took her more than eight years to forgive Piper for the fact that she had left her in Paris. Sure this was something else but still.. she wondered what it would give for Piper to forgive her for this. She was sure that she could fix the relationship between Piper and Polly more quickly than their own relationship at the moment.

But then again.. right now Piper was the one coming on to her. Even though she didn't seem that enthusiastic in the bathtub about them spending some quality time together. Alex knew better than to bring up a conversation about Polly this evening. That would simply just have to wait. If she even had a chance to get a little bit closer to mending things between her and Piper tonight, she would jump at that chance in a heartbeat.

"To what do I owe the sudden affection," she asked the blonde.

"Do I need a reason to kiss my wife now," she shot back playfully.

"Mm, your wife huh? Did I miss the exchange of I do's or are you hinting me right now?"

"Woman. I meant my woman. Just take it or leave it Alex," she said while she kissed her brunette lover soundly on the lips again.

She grabbed the blonde by her waist and pulled her in more fully this way. "Take it then," she whispered against her lips. They were face to face until Alex moved her face into the crook of the blonde's neck and just relished in the way that she smelled. She used to do this to Piper in prison when they had just gotten 'back together'. It made Piper's heart ache that the action started to reappear again after their fight. It was one of the things by which she knew that Alex was afraid of losing her. Afraid that she had royally fucked up again. And in a way she did. But it wasn't irreparable. Not in the least.

Piper was already way ahead than Alex. Sure she was still angry with her for leaving. But that didn't mean that from the moment she stepped through the front door, she didn't understand why. Hell, she was a big part of the reason why. Alex wasn't solely to blame for this.

She understood why she left from the moment the older woman left her alone in the apartment. That was the big difference between the two cases of leaving each other behind. She wasn't forgiving her for not telling her about Polly yet. It was something she had to get over on her own. It would take some time. Both Alex and Polly had to accept that it would take some time for Piper to wrap her head around all of this. Still she did already forgive Alex for leaving. And she knew that _that_ little fact was making Alex behave the way she was right now around Piper. Not the Polly thing. Alex could handle that. She meant it when she said she would make Piper get over it and eventually want to see Polly again. She just couldn't stand the thought of leaving Piper the way the blonde did to her all those years ago. She just needed to understand that she didn't. That it was different and that Piper didn't want the incident keeping them apart any longer.

"Baby look at me." She rarely called Alex baby. But in this case Alex seemed more vulnerable. It seemed fitting at the moment. Alex looked at Piper and Piper put their foreheads together. "I love you," Piper spoke to her. Alex just shook her head as to say no.

"Yes baby, I do. Nothing is going to change that Al."

"You don't know that Piper."

"Yes, I do. Not even you leaving is going to change that," she decided to call the elephant in the room by name.

"I don't believe that for one second Piper."

"Oh so you stopped loving me after I left," she asked playfully. Because she knew that wasn't true. Not for a second. Even in those eight years that they didn't see each other, Piper now knew that Alex even in all that time didn't stop loving her. Not even stopped being in love with her.

"You know I didn't."

"Yes indeed. I know. The thing with Polly, Alex. I'm not ready to forgive you for that yet. But that is something we can try to see separately from us right now. The leaving baby, was not your fault. You had to. I know that. I forgive you Alex. Maybe I'm not able to forget it yet. I don't know if I ever will. But let's just focus on the coming back part. We will be okay Alex. As long as I know that you will always come back to me."

"Just so you know. I won't do it again. Nothing will ever make me do it again."

"I know."

"How do you know, kid?"

"Because you know what it feels like to be left behind, and I refuse to believe that you will put me through that again willingly. I believe that in a way you still didn't forgive me for leaving you the way I did back then. Maybe you never will. But this made us more even than we already were. And maybe we won't like to admit that the world.. or that our world works like this. But I guess it just does. All I know is that you won't do it again. And even if you do. I believe that you will always come back for me. I have to believe that Alex."

"I'm so sorry. I love you too."

"So… I kind of feel like making up right now. Like really make up," she quirked her eyebrow at the blonde. "But there is a little and adorable dude in our bed which makes things a little more complicated."

"Who knew that the Alex Vause would become so civilized that she isn't prepared to ravish me right here in our living room."

"Pipes, seriously I'm not that civilized. But for what I have in storage for you.. we really need that bed. And we need that little dude not to be here to shorten our lovemaking."

"Yeah, yeah. Blame Finn for your shortcomings. I might have to take back everything I said in the last half hour if you're not able to satisfy me Al."

Alex was on the way to their bedroom to check on Finn when she heard the blonde say those words. She turned around immediately.

"Piper, what the fuck? I am very capable and you know it woman," she spoke while she pointed at her accusingly.

* * *

Not even an hour later they were both exhausted due to their eventful evening and frankly because fighting with each other and holding grudges was tearing them apart the last couple of weeks. After tonight things were starting to look up again.

They had a long way to go but also had gotten through some rough stuff together. Even after Piper got out. The two of them didn't even get one hour together before everything was about to fall apart already.

 _ **It was always Alex's plan to go and pick Piper up at Litchfield. Maybe Polly would be allowed to go with her, but no one else. Still when Piper's time got short the tall brunette seemed to realize that picking up Piper would be more difficult than she thought. Because even though she knows that she loves the blonde more than anything or anyone else on this earth, her family still wasn't in on that little detail. Piper wanted to tell them herself when she got out.**_

 _ **She was right. During Piper's furlough Cal was the one who picked up Piper from Litchfield. This time it was no different, except for Carol who would be with him. Alex was let in on this information two days before Piper would be getting out. She arranged with Polly that even though her family would be picking her up, they would drive to Litchfield anyway and would be watching Piper leave with her family from a fair distance.**_

 _ **Alex just wanted to see with her own eyes that her girlfriend was leaving that horrible place behind and that they would be moving forward from that moment on, together. Too bad that the together part had to wait a little longer because of the inevitable time Piper had to spend with her family. Piper doesn't know that she would be there, watching her from a distance. It wouldn't be fair to her. It would be like choosing between two worlds. She wouldn't do that to her. Because she believes that this time Piper will choose her over and over. Even if it's just to prove that she won't make the mistake of not choosing Alex again, not ever.**_

 _ **Piper didn't know that Alex was so close when she walked out of Litchfield. But that didn't make it any less hard. Of course she wanted to see her family. Truth was she just wanted Alex. She wanted her there for every step of the way. And the only thing in the way of that was the fact that she didn't tell her family about their relationship yet. She was determined to bring this out of the way once and for all so that she could be reunited with her lover.**_

 _ **They were still in the car when Piper couldn't help herself but approach her mother about the subject. As subtle as Piper clearly is not. "I'm seeing Alex."**_

" _ **What," Carol stated more than asked. "You're not approaching that woman Piper. You're just out of prison. You need to focus on going forward and building a life for yourself. You've wasted enough time Piper."**_

" _ **I didn't mean that I was going to meet Alex or anything, mother. I mean that I am involved with her, and I have been involved with her ever since I got furlough when grandmother died."**_

 _ **Her mother didn't say anything. Just stared. Waiting, or better hoping, for Piper to start laughing and explain all of this as a joke.**_

" _ **I'm seeing Alex, mother. It's not up for discussion. We're involved and as together as two human beings can be. And before you say anything. There is nothing you can say or do to change my mind about her, about us. I'm just telling you now that Alex and I are together, and if you want to keep having a relationship with me, you'll be seeing her around from now on. Because I'm not going to spend another minute without her. Not when it's not necessary or when we're not being kept apart by fences."**_

 _ **Carol wanted to say something to Piper. It was obvious by her face in that moment. Piper didn't know what exactly happened but Carol didn't object. Obviously she was not at all happy with the situation. The expression on her face said enough. But Piper would take what she could get right now. Anything that could get her faster towards Alex.**_

 _ **Piper informed her lover through her new phone that Cal gave to her right as she got out. Unlike her mother he was aware of his sister's relationship with the former drug importer. Alex's number was already in it by Polly's doing. She was let in on that little fact by her brother whispering it in her ear when he greeted her with a hug.**_

 _ **She was scrolling her fingers over the keyboard of her Blackberry when it occurred to her how weird it feels to be almost texting Alex Vause right now. It has been over a decade. She was excited to be able to now and couldn't help but share these feelings with her love also.**_

 _ **Piper: It seems like forever since I've been able to text you like this Vause. I believe Nostalgia might be the right word here. I'm sending you my location right now. Come over please. X your Pipes.**_

 _ **Alex: You're right about that kid. This feels incredible. I'm in the car behind you already Piper. So is this the moment where I will be meeting the Chapmans officially?**_

 **Piper was smiling the whole time she was reading Alex's text. It was an almost painfully wide smile but she couldn't stop her face from forming it.**

 _ **Piper: Ugh. Sadly that is true babe. I told my mother about you just now. She was actually quite amical about all of it. I just don't want to spend another moment without you Alex.**_

 _ **Alex: You don't have to convince me Piper. I will be there. So just thirty more minutes and I'll be able to hold you. You better tell Cal to drive safe!**_

* * *

 **A/N**

 **It has been way too long. I'm sorry! I have no excuses for you other than just life. I am still very determined to write this story further though, and will never abandon one of my stories before they are complete. Stay tuned people! Leaving reviews however does really keep me motivated ;).**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

 _ **Bold italics**_ **– flashback**

 _ **Previously**_

 _ **Piper was smiling the whole time she was reading Alex's text. It was an almost painfully wide smile but she couldn't stop her face from forming it.**_

 _ **Piper: Ugh. Sadly that is true babe. I told my mother about you just now. She was actually quite amicable about all of it. I just don't want to spend another moment without you Alex.**_

 _ **Alex: You don't have to convince me Piper. I will be there. So just thirty more minutes and I'll be able to hold you. You better tell Cal to drive safe!**_

* * *

 **Chapter seven**

 _ **Unfortunately Piper and Alex have to stay the first night at Piper's parent's house. It isn't something that Alex has in mind for their first night together, but it's still is better than not being together at all. It surprises the both of them that Alex is even allowed to stay the night also, even in the same room as Piper. Piper isn't thrilled that the first time having sex outside of prison since furlough is going to be under the roof of Carol Chapman, but it still isn't an excuse to not have sex with Alex. It's just not an option. They've both already waited too long for this to happen.**_

 _ **Alex, as gallant as ever, tries to suggest to just cuddle and go to sleep by crawling into the comfortable bed together. Because that alone is a big upgrade from being in prison. Piper just laughs in her face. Not just because she's never going to keep her hands to herself, but because she knows what an effect her nearly naked body will have on Alex. It's a given. Still she's kind of curious to find out how long Alex can hold out before she bursts, and comes back on her suggestion. They've got plenty of time now and seeing Alex struggle to keep her hands to herself is like all the amusement Piper was looking forward to, it feels like freedom.**_

 _ **When Piper lies her body down in the bed she's only wearing boxers and a tank top. It's still the same bed from her teenage years and therefore not the biggest one available. When they scoot together close enough there's just enough space for both of them to sleep comfortably. Alex also moves the cover enough to slip into the bed and immediately feels her own legs touch Piper's naked ones. "Shit kid, you're cold. You don't need me to warm you up, do you?"**_

" _ **Yes, I'm cold Alex. Please warm me up."**_

Who would've thought that staying with Carol they would make a happy memory. But they did. She feels her whole body tingle just from the memory from that night. Before that night she was certain that there wasn't a person in the world that knew her better than Piper. And even though that was true, they got to know each other on a whole other level that night.

It was like back being a teenager for just one night. Cheating reality and feeling like you're seventeen again. Together in that teenage bed exploring each other's bodies like the first time all over again, but more like your actual first time in your life being with someone. Almost awkward at first, soft touches and kisses and looks that are asking for permission and looking for conformation. Thinking about it now makes her wet in an instant.

Piper is already in the living room with Finn. And as much as she loves the little boy, she needs him to be gone soon so she can get it on with her woman. Piper left her with a challenge and in a state of arousal last night. She thought she could handle getting through the night and day before she could do something about it, but it appears to be more difficult all because of that fucking memory that popped into her head when she woke up.

A memory of better days. Piper just out of prison, oblivious of the fact that her best friend cheated with her ex-fiance and her girlfriend keeping that information from her. Things were getting better between them. It has been a while. She needs things to get better, a lot better before they get worse again.

"Babe, when's Finn going back to Polly?" She tries to ask the question without too much meaning behind it.

"Alex you know that I still didn't process what Polly did. So you have to take him back to her. I'm not going to do that."

"Fine. Did he already eat? If so I'm going to take him there now. I love him but I need to be with you kid."

"Al, I don't know. I'm not in the mood and I know that last night suggested that I'm ready for this again. But I don't know. I want you. Believe me I do, more than anything. But I don't know if I can."

"Oh, ok. That's cool. So I'm just going to take Finn to Polly and then I'm going to get some work done at home. No big deal."

It's a big deal though. Not only because Alex is horny. Well actually, exactly because she is. She needs Piper so much. She needs her now more than ever and she doesn't know how to get her back completely. If she knew that keeping this thing from Piper would bring this all upon them..

"Alex, baby. Don't be mad okay. I just need some more time."

"It's alright Pipes. Take as much time as you need. I can take care of myself. God knows I've been doing that a lot lately," she mumbles that last part under her breath but still loud enough for Piper to hear it.

"What did you say baby?"

"Nothing, it's nothing. Here, let me just get this little one and I'll get out of your air."

When she arrives at Polly she's actually glad to get out of the house for a minute. She really thought her and Piper made progress last night. She really thought she was going to get laid today. She knows she's being a little pathetic right now but she just can't help but feel a little sorry for herself.

"Hey, Pol. I'll just put him to bed okay. He's still a little tired and fell asleep in the car."

"Yeah, it's fine. I'll go give him a kiss in a minute. Do you want anything to drink?"

"Please."

"Coffee?"

"You have something stronger. I'm afraid I could use it."

"Alex, really?"

"What? It's fucking five o'clock somewhere. Please don't give me hard time about this. I already get enough of that at home thank you very much."

"Alex, I'm sorry. I never meant to put you into this position in the first place. It's all my fault. If I hadn't slept with Larry none of this wouldn't have happened."

"No, it wouldn't have. But something else would have. You can't blame yourself any longer Pol. Just as I can't blame myself for this any longer. I know I'm in the wrong here and Piper isn't. But I'm done. I really am."

"What do you mean? You're done with her?"

"No, of course not. Jesus. You know I will never be done with her. I'm just done with this bullshit. I want to move forward. I want us to be good again. I want to marry her and have her fucking babies."

"You want to what?"

"Oh you heard me. I know you never expected me to say something like this. Hell, I never expected me to ever want this. But I do."

"Well.. does she know about this?"

"No of course she fucking doesn't. She doesn't even want to have sex with me. I mean, she says she wants to but it sure has been a while."

"You're aware of the fact that even if you do have sex you can't make babies right?"

"Fuck, Polly. Jesus. I'm trying to have a real conversation here."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I mean, you're great with Finn. I can see how much you love him. And I know Piper loves him. So I guess I shouldn't be that surprised that someday you would want to have that. I just.. I didn't expect it because things haven't been great lately. We all just have a lot on our minds I guess."

"Ugh yeah I know. I'm just ready for all of this to be over. I just want to go home and make love to my wife and just… Just be."

"Your wife huh?"

"I wish."

"Alex, just go home. Go be with your wife. Make sure she wants to be your wife."

"Fine."

When she gets home due to that one glass of wine she had at Polly the horniness that was there before was uplifted to a level where it couldn't be longer ignored.

"I'm going to take a shower," she announces towards her girlfriend.

"Alex, can we just sit and talk?"

"Later Pipes. Not right now. I need to wind down."

She gets where Alex is coming from. She really does. Last night she made her some kind of promise that they would be okay. Not with so many words but the promise is hanging in the air and right now she is letting her down. She is debating with herself to just knock on the bathroom door and try to talk to her again before she hears moans coming from that same room.

Moans of her very hot and very horny girlfriend. Moans like she hasn't heard like that in way too long, come to think of it now. Moans that again make her feel a little guilty about not giving her any in apparently too long. And even though this morning she stated towards her that even though she wanted to, she wasn't ready. She was lying. She knows she is the moment her body starts reacting towards those beautiful little moans.

Because she hears that her girlfriend is trying hard to keep herself quiet, but isn't performing all to well. Which indicates that indeed it has been way too long for her. Especially since they aren't used to going this long since she got out of prison.

The angry sex didn't occur too long ago was different. It was sex but it was more something else. Before then they went too long without each other with all the fighting over Polly's slip, which occurred also way too long ago. She knows that. She knows that it is a little pathetic to hold on to something like that but she also just can't let it go, step over it like nothing happened. If she could she already would've. Don't they get that by now? It also doesn't help that her lover and her best friend are on each other's team and that she's the one that's against them, on a team completely alone in all of this.

Don't get her wrong. She's so glad that Alex and Polly get along so well. It's all she ever wanted but it's biting her in the ass right now. She just feels like she's on an island all alone and no one gets her.

Again she hears a clear moan escape that beautiful mouth of her girlfriend and it's the last straw. She opens the door without thinking about it. Without actually thinking about what she is going to do when she sees her naked girlfriend standing in the shower pleasuring herself. What she's going to do when that said girlfriend notices her standing in that doorway staring at her pleasuring herself.

Alex's head turns slightly when she hears the door open but she can't stop herself from what she's doing. She's too far gone already. "Pipes.. Oh fuck. Pipes, what are you doing here?"

She tries to reign it in a little but isn't really successful. "Baby, I'm sorry. I just.. I just really need this and you weren't. Oh God.. you, you weren't ready and that's ok. I can just finish and I'll be there in a minute okay?"

"Alex."

"Kid, please just let me."

That's it. She no longer can let her girlfriend feel like this. Feel like she needs to get away to get a quick release for herself so that she doesn't have to bother her. It's ridiculous. Even with everything else going on, this is just not right. She needs to do something about this before it's too late. No more quick self-releases for her Alex if she has something to say about it.

She takes off her shirt. She has no bra on and is naked from the waist up before she steps into the shower with her jeans and panties still on. She wraps her arms immediately around Alex's neck and pushes her body into her until their breasts come in contact with each other.

"Kid, what are you." Before she can finish her sentence Piper shuts her up with a kiss.

"Al, just let me okay? Just let me do this for you," she answers while she drops on her knees and puts her mouth where her girlfriend needs it the most.

"Piper please just stop. I don't want you to do this for me. I want you to want this. I don't want it before then," she struggles to get the words out because even though what she just says is very much true, the blondes mouth on her feels like heaven.

"Baby I want this, trust me," she speaks against her lips before she parts them with her tongue.

Even though she wants to ask her girlfriend more questions about why the change of heart all of the sudden, she's incapable of anything other than just enjoying this. Enjoying her Piper's perfect mouth on her. Oh how much she's missed this. She doesn't care whatever kind of fight they will have ever again. They can fight, that's fine with her. But they are not going without this again. Not if she has something to say about it.

"Piper, baby. If you don't stop I'm going to cum in your mouth. So if you don't want that I need you to pull away okay. I can't hold out much longer," she gets out as fast as she can without even taking a breath.

"Pipes, I'm gonna. Fuck baby, I'm going to."

"Do it."

"Are you sure? Like really?"

Then Piper does that thing with her mouth. That thing that she always does when she knows Alex is on the edge and is trying to hold out just a little longer. It's more than she can take. It's more than she could ever take. So she lets go. There's nothing she can do. And she's quite certain that Piper wants this just as much as her.

"Oh fuck I'm.. Oh, kid fuck I'm cumming. God, baby this is.. oh ama-ah-zing."

 **A/N**

 **It has been way too long. I am still very determined to write this story further. Actually I have to say that I'm struggling right now to keep writing fanfiction. So if you do appreciate me making the time to write this chapter even though I have too many other things on my mind, please leave a review. And I'm sorry to leave it like that with this chapter, but I feel like it's appropriate. It's enough for now.**


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